Comment by Dustin on April 23, 2011 at 8:11pm

You live in Maryland?  You should invite me over , I LOVE Lamb!!  I'll even act Christian just to rip into some medium rare Lamb.  Mmmmm

Comment by M on April 23, 2011 at 10:04pm

Nope, lucky me.  I do feel for the ones who are in your situation, though.  Good luck to you!

Comment by Chris Lambert on April 24, 2011 at 3:23am

Cheers all I'm getting ready, about to do Easter Egg hunt and then...

They come....

I like the "my house my rules" thing but eeeeeeek, I know it would make things really uncomfortable...

Comment by Janet Richter on April 24, 2011 at 2:02pm

Oh, Chris.  I feel for you.  Some of this seems more about how your parents perceive you than about the holiday itself.  I will try to make this short as I tend to ramble.

 

Even as a child my parents wanted me to be more feminine.  I was a tomboy.  Jeans over dresses, skinned knees over manicured nails.  It was and is just who I am.  I am not a lesbian, although I have no problem with who other people love.

 

I am 53 years old and my mom, bless her heart, still tells me I would be prettier if I would just put some make up on.  Okay, that is not going to happen and it still irritates me.

 

So a friend's son became ordained and married someone you probably don't know.  I get it.  They wanted something else from or for you, even though they love you. 

 

But you are you.  Stand your ground and be the best you that you can be.  If you think that you can't take it and are about to give in. . .write to me.  Trust me.  If you can talk me into coloring my gray hair and putting on make up after all these years. . .or lessen my disappointment of my mother. . . give me a shout out.

Comment by Chris Lambert on April 24, 2011 at 2:56pm

Hey that didn't go too badly. The lamb was tender, Mum's symnal cake with the 11 apostles represented by balls of marzipan was really tasty, I felt on edge the entire time and fell silent every time that anything Christian was mentioned. That seemed to work. So thanks everybody, I'm now going to have a great big glass of vino.

Comment by Rodrica Davis on April 24, 2011 at 5:15pm

"any of youdoing anything similar?"

 

Fortunately, I will not be joining my family this Easter? I came out as an atheist quite literally days after realizing I was one. So my family knows this day is useless in regards to it being a holiday. I live in a city 100 miles away from any family members for college so I do not worry about the issue. My friends here have not invited me either. The only help I can give is try to enjoy yourself but be on the look out for anyone who might try to get your children saved. That is what I would do if I had children to worry about (thankfully I do not). My family has demanded that I not challenge their children's beliefs and I have not done so. I think they have every parent has the right to indoctrinate their kids into whatever religious nonsense they wish as would an atheist who wants to raise a freethinker and not a sheep. Another etiquette that I adhere to is that right before, everyone holds hands to pray, I conspicuously disappear. I say conspicuously because they usually ask where I am, before remembering I am the atheist in the family.

 

While I agree with most of the comments on this blog, I have one conflict with one who has said "we should respect other people's beliefs". Frankly I disagree. Now granted, in this context of a family get together, you shouldn't go around, unprovoked, saying their beliefs are crap and their stupid. Obviously this would be irrational. But should the conversation come up with your visitors, I think then you should criticize their beliefs as being what think it is and explaining your point of view. There is a difference between respecting one's right to hold a viewpoint and respecting the viewpoint itself. Respect does not mean bowing before the other person's beliefs because they hold it strongly. In fact, I would argue respect for the person holding the view demands that when the conversation comes up, you are required to criticize their viewpoint should you disagree. Obviously, you know so people accept criticism of their beloved belief well and some not so much. I have learned that sometimes, relationships have to be cut because many demand that you respect their beliefs or you are a disrespectful, commie, rebel.

Comment by Discern on April 24, 2011 at 8:32pm

I don't understand why some people find it so hard just to bow your head when they pray, or other similar gestures of respect. Unless a family member is purposely trying to provoke you, I think it's good just to try and show the usual courtesy. If they know you don't believe, then great, there's no reason for you to make some kind of silent protest and cause dissension every time there's a family gathering.

 

One thing that bugged me as a christian was being at a christian wedding and the pastor would ask the church to stand as part of a prayer before the pre-ceremony ritual. Some of the 'sinner' in-laws would refuse to stand and just sit in their seats chewing gum or what have you. For the sake of their relative's wedding and special day, they couldn't simply show some respect for a 50 minute ceremony. It wasn't the time to show their disdain for organized religion.

 

When I was a christian I visited some Shinto temples in Japan. I was filming some of the practices, and then I noticed a couple people looking at me. I was like "oh crap" and remembered they weren't keen on people filming the actual ritual. I quickly put away my camera. As a christian, I couldn't care less about Shinto, but I don't have to flout it - or at least appear to flout my disdain. If the roles were reversed, I would've liked the same basic courtesy.

Comment by Rodrica Davis on April 24, 2011 at 8:54pm

@Discern.

I would agree that at a place of worship, non-believers should practice a level or respect to people's beliefs, but only because they had the courtesy of being invited. But in public, or in your own home, neither I nor any other non-believers should not have to placate to people's irrational beliefs. There is a time and a place yes, but I think that time and place is only while you are in a religious place or at a religious person's home. I would say then it is a matter or respecting their courtesy for allowing you to come. Relating to this particular story, I believe he said, it was in his own home so I think he has every right to not bow his head while they pray or respect their beliefs if they were to get into a discussion about. Yes, be civil ofcourse, but do not hesitate to cause call out hypocrisy, evil, or nonsense. He is much nicer than me, because I might have declined them coming to celebrate.

 

"...my folks are coming over for Easter Lunch tomorrow..."

 

"...Fundie Mum and my Vicar Dad are spending it with us..."

 

 

Comment by Discern on April 24, 2011 at 11:36pm

yeah true, you have more freedom in your own home.

Comment by Rodrica Davis on April 25, 2011 at 12:20am

That should be "should have to"

Comment

• ‹ Previous
• 1
• 2
• Next ›
• Page