In August, 2010, Anne Rice came out and said, “I quit being a Christian. I’m out. In the name of Christ, I refuse to be anti-gay. I refuse to be anti-feminist. I refuse to be anti-science. I refurse to be anti-life. In the name of Christ, I quit Christianity and being a Christian. Amen.”

I couldn’t have agreed more with her decision. For quite a few years, I’ve spent time deconstructing my own faith and came up with a very similar conclusion.

I can no longer call myself a Christian.

Ironically, I think this is a very “Christ-like” decision, since I don’t think modern Christianity represents Christ and the teachings of modern preachers seem to me very unintellectual, simple, and money and power hungry. I think if “Christ came back” he’d say WTF?!

But, I don’t blame the state of the Church on preachers themselves. I think each individual who accepts the teachings of pastors also has some part in the state of the church. Accepting the state of the church as anti-gay, anti-science, anti-feminist is something I did for years. I became a reverend in that state. I didn’t question the under educated pastors who were passing on terminology and ideas that hadn’t been well-thought out or deconstructed. They hadn’t been doubted by them, or criticized. They just slopped it into my bowl and I drank from it.

I resigned from being a reverend in 2003. I still continued to do ministry until 2005, and there I started attending college. A secular college. The deconstruction of my faith came during my college years, but not necessarily because of them. Immediately after leaving my cult, the slop just tasted terrible. I started recognizing that most of it was b.s. and I’d questioned it BEFORE Master’s Commission, and needed to revert back to that time before I entered into a mind-control environment. It was hard to get in touch with who I was before Master’s and the ministry, but I did it. I found a girl who was guilt-free, lacked a constant condemnation, and thought a lot about everything. That girl was normal (for the most part), listened to secular music, watched Rated R movies, and read all kinds of different books. I resumed my life there.

I’m not a Christian anymore. I didn’t lose my faith. I decided to get rid of it.

My faith was cumbersome to my personal growth, to my well-being as a human being, and to my desire to be a compassionate person who loved the world as it is.

I was wrapped up in fundamentalism for years. Someone said:

“Fundamentalism is a form of organised anger in reaction to the unsettling consequences of rapid social and religious change.”

I don’t believe fundamentalism is representative of all Christianity or all Christians, but what I believe doesn’t coincide with either belief system.

What I believe now is that there is no heaven or hell. Those are scare tactics taught to us by pastors around the world to pressure us into a relationship with God. Sometimes this is for their own “number game.” Sometimes it’s so that they can say their church is growing and the Holy Spirit is moving. Sometimes it’s for the perpetuation of something they learned was “right” and just kept doing without questioning whether it was right or godly or not.

I believe the Bible is not inerrant. It’s complicated. It’s a historical document, filled with interesting stories and myths. Did God create Eve out of Adam’s rib? Probably not. In fact, that’s the exact type of thing I’m talking about. That myth perpetuates the idea that Eve is less than Adam. She also tempted Adam and caused them to get kicked out of the Garden. Those early Genesis teachings are anti-women and reinstate patriarchal power structures that are harmful to male and female alike.

The Bible is also filled with the promotion of slavery, more oppressive language toward women, gays, and it can be a dangerous tool in the hands of fundamentalist Christians inciting violence and war rhetoric (the “army of the Lord” fighting against the “ungodly”).

I don’t believe America is or should be a Christian nation. First, there are a lot of Christians who disagree on things such as abortion, gun control, the environment, etc. I believe the United States is a nation of Jews, Muslims, and multiple other religions, ideologies, and beliefs. America also contains a group of citizens who are anti-theist, atheist who are not “heathens” or “evil” or even wrong. They’re human beings. They’re not going to die and call out to God on their death bed. They’re satisfied with their lives.

I respect science and scientists. I believe evolution is more plausible than any of the other theories of why we exist today. I think it’s necessary to learn and educate ourselves about how we’ve evolved as a biological being and anthropologically.

I believe that women are not sub-human to men. We don’t need to submit. We are not superior, but equal to men. I disagree with men and women who oppress women using the Bible, political and cultural ideologies, etc. This use of the Bible to promote the “gentle-spirited” woman is harmful for women; it doesn’t consider us individuals capable of being wild; and it’s oppressive to men, promoting the idea of a “manly man” as the only ideal of a godly man. These teachings (explicit and implied) harm people’s confidence in themselves, pervert individual traits, and control sex and gender roles.

On that note, I’m strongly against patriarchal religion. I don’t believe that God or gods are a Father. I don’t think God is a Him, and this language and idea oppresses women and men.

I share all of this with you because I’m ready to come out as Anne Rice did. I’m tired of putting on pretenses that I am someone I’m not. I’m proud of how I’ve evolved into the woman I am today, the relationships I have with people who support me (and a pretty awesome family who loves me through all of this) and like me for who I am rather than what I believe or don’t believe. I’m also really excited about drafting the plans to my own life, following some and discarding others based on what I think is right, not what someone tells me is right (or God’s voice). My life has become a journey filled with heartache, and pain, growth and critical thinking, and embracing the wild and exciting part of myself.

I’m happy with my quirkiness, my ability to make people laugh, and the unique way I form a thought, feel things deeply, and care about people.

I like me.


Lastly, in the style of Reddit, please feel free to ASK ME ANYTHING.

Views: 205

Comment by Misty: Baytheist Living! on February 6, 2011 at 3:54pm

Wonderful contribution and now featured.


Comment by Loop Johnny on February 6, 2011 at 3:59pm
Good to see you thinking critically.
Comment by Skycomet the Fallen Angel on February 6, 2011 at 10:42pm
You took the words right out of my mouth. Well said fellow sister of the godless
Comment by John Siqueiros on February 6, 2011 at 10:53pm
Nice essay. I personally framed it in terms of "sacrificing my soul" when I decided Christianity was incompatible with rationality and humanity. May you continue to embrace your good sense of morality.
Comment by Mo Trauen on February 7, 2011 at 12:48am
To accept something on faith is to reject reason, especially when you also reject similar propositions that have no less and no more evidence to support them than the one you accept.  This is also profoundly dishonest.
Comment by Kevin Harris on February 7, 2011 at 10:56am
To accept something on faith is to reject reason, especially when you also reject similar propositions that have no less and no more evidence to support them than the one you accept.  This is also profoundly dishonest.

Mo, perhaps some definitions are in order. There are nuances to the term "faith". I take the broad definition being faith is the assent or trust that a proposition is true. Supporting data can make faith in a proposition well-founded, reasonable, and grounded.

We engage this every day. Based on the data, the airline will get you from LA to Chicago without crashing. But you can't prove it 100%. There are however good reasons and data to support putting your faith in the airlines. I wouldn't place my faith in a plane that had smoke coming out of the engine and the strong smell of alcohol coming from the cockpit!



Comment by Gregor Basić on February 7, 2011 at 1:21pm

I see, all of you are struggling with text limits :P

So are a deist, atheist or still apologet? Because I see people jump to conclusion that you are atheist but you are not, are you?

Comment by Mo Trauen on February 7, 2011 at 1:25pm

Sigh!  The same old dishonest semantic confusion.  Believing something without evidence is a different kind of faith than having confidence in things that have occurred on a very regular basis in the past.  The latter is better known as inductive reasoning.


Deliberately confusing the different definitions that attach to a word is an old and often used dodge of the religious.  For instance, your assertion above that "having a reason" for believing is the same as not rejecting reason.  If the reason you have is not sufficient to justify the belief objectively, then you are not using reason.  You are saying, essentially, that motivation is the same as justification.  That's just not true, and, if you were honest, which you are not, you would admit it.

Comment by Kevin Harris on February 7, 2011 at 1:48pm

Believing something without evidence is a different kind of faith than having confidence in things that have occurred on a very regular basis in the past.  The latter is better known as inductive reasoning.

You are merely showing the scale that the term "faith" often embodies. On one end is believing without evidence (or against evidence) known as fideism. On the other end is inductive and deductive evidence undergirding a view, etc. The latter better describes the NT word pistis which denotes "informed faith".

If the reason you have is not sufficient to justify the belief objectively, then you are not using reason.


Wait a minute. That is better stated, "If the reason you have is not sufficient to justify belief objectively, then it is not a good reason". Fideists tend to refute themselves by claiming to have "reasons for not needing reasons". But they still try to reason to fideism (which is why I reject the view).

And I don't think motivation is the same as justification. You cannot lump me in there. As you may have guessed, I do not hold to my faith in Christ uncritically. I think there are good reasons to believe his claims, as well as good reasons for theism.

Comment by Mo Trauen on February 7, 2011 at 2:05pm

There are no good reasons for believing in god.  What reasons there are apply with equal validity to other gods, which you do not believe in.


"A reason" and "reason" are different things.  "Reason" refers to the process--the process of thinking logically.  "A reason" is simply one of the steps that may appear in that process.  You are still trying to confuse the two.  If you do not have a good reason that justifies your belief objectively, yet you still cling to it, then you have rejected reason as a process.


God is a non-falisifiable hypothesis.  The existence of Harry Potter is also a non-falsifiable hypothesis.  Neither can EVER be disproved because they involve alleged sentient beings with magical powers sufficient to confound and alter the human mind and any man made instruments--if they actually existed. The lack of evidence for Harry Potter is sufficient to establish his non-existence to the point that believing he exists would be grounds for declaring someone mentally ill.  Likewise god.


If you accept as fact non-falsifiable claims that have not been objectively proved, then you have rejected reason. 


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