My whole life I have been affected differently by hope, faith, and belief. I grew
up being indoctrinated with the values of Christianity and Catholicism. My
parents divorced when I was around 4 years old. My dad got weekend custody of
my sister and I. My dad was a Christian and my mom was a Catholic (I have no
idea what religious beliefs they hold now), neither of them would explain the
differences in their religions to me. Most Sundays spent with my dad were at
church being taught what my fundamentals and moral's should be. My mom
didn't take me to church often, but took me to Catholic education classes once
a week instead. When I was 12 years old, my dads alcoholic behavior had peaked.
He forced my sister and I into his car and then crashed us into a tree at
60mph--I have not heard from him or his family since the crash. During our
recovery from the accident, my mom was forced to work constantly so we didn't
lose our house as a result of the crippling debt caused from the crash. She
works 2 jobs (one being full time) till today. 6 years have passed and we are
still on the brink of losing our home. Since the car crash, my mom has become
apathetic in her beliefs and has become distant to me. I have never accepted
the belief that Jesus and God exist, although I have unknowingly taken things
from the bible. I didn't know it at the time, but many of my beliefs were based
on biblical teachings when I became an agnostic at the age of 13. I believed
things like abortion and homosexuality were wrong, but didn't have firm reasons
why I thought that. Over the last 6 years I have been shaping myself into who I
am today, and have rejected almost every non-secular teaching from my past. Now
I pride myself on advocating Atheism and Secular Humanist. My values are far
left (Democratic Socialist) and I support egalitarianism among many
other progressive concepts. I have false hope regarding our existence
that seems to stem from the bible. I hope there is a reason for existence and
hope that there is life beyond death. There aren't any specific fantasies--all
vague and usually not the cliché ideas from theistic thinking. I think
logically, since there is no evidence of any deity's or afterlife, the chances
of either existing are slim-none. I don't expect either of these things, making
my hope false, but I still use this feeling as a driving force to motivate me
into doing what I know is right. A couple of my friends think this feeling
stems from theism and is detrimental to me in someways, I don't agree. Any
questions or comments are welcomed. I will add more blogs soon that go into
detail about my experiences.