My grandmother, bless her tiny, uneducated, bigoted, soul, once told me that the most terrible (pronounced ter
- ible) thing she ever saw was the death of an atheist. My grandparents had a friend who was an atheist. When he was dying, in the hospital, they went and spent his last hours on earth, trying to save his soul from damnation in hell. They prayed, admonished, begged, pleaded, and cajoled him to accept Jesus Christ as his savior and lord. And I have always thought about this poor guy, laying there dying, with his friends making his last few hours on earth, a living hell, and I thought: Yes, indeed, it was a terrible thing.

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Comment by Galen on June 26, 2010 at 11:25pm
I don't particularly care what they do AFTER I'm dead. Hell, I'll be dead, won't matter to me. Just wish they'd stop annoying the living!
Comment by Joann Brady on June 29, 2010 at 6:07pm
yes, folks..........this is something you definitely need to write down somewhere and have witnesses for!
Comment by Monica McGee (Monicks) on June 30, 2010 at 9:11pm
Well, I wouldn't want my family and friends to remember me all pissed off, and leave them with the feeling that I'm ungrateful or something of the sort. In their minds, what they're trying to do is a good thing.

NO, I would not accept jesus nor pray. hell no! but if they wanna pray, and it makes them feel better, that's ok with me.

Think about it, the people around your death bed would be your loved ones, the ones that will miss you, the ones that will suffer for your absence.

What they do after I'm dead, funeral, service, wake, mass, whatever, I don't care. I won't be there anyway. THEY are the ones that need the comforting. Let them have it.

um.. maybe I think this way because I was dead once... for a bit.
Comment by ZachsMind on June 30, 2010 at 10:15pm
Fighting someone over their beliefs on their deathbed is very bad form, and yet another reason why I proselytize for an end to "belief" or more specifically, entertaining notions unsupported by legitimate evidence. Any further exploration in that territory is preaching to the choir here, I imagine. Where's the fun in that? So instead, allow me to play Devil's Advocate. Cuz I'm a jerk.

Keep in mind that funerals are not for the deceased. They are exercises in futility for the living, so that they can cope with the loss of a loved one. Fact is, you never really cope. I lost my dad 12 years ago and yeah I'm over it and no I'm not really over it and I don't really want to be over it. He was my DAD. Every now and then I like just thinking about him cuz so long as we remember those we love they're never really gone from our minds. Their memories live on inside us.

So they have your funeral at a church. So what? You're gonna be dead, and the people you leave behind, some of them, will not be able to accept you're not in their heaven, so in their minds they are gonna put you in their heaven so that way they can remember you on their terms. And you won't care how they remember you, cuz you'll be dead. People you really ticked off will put you in their hell and they'll enjoy that and again you won't care cuz you'll be dead. They could imagine you in New Jersey instead of heaven or hell for all that it matters. You won't care.

With all that said, my family & friends know I want a SubGenius Devival Wake with lots of alcohol. I want friends and strangers alike to stand in front of each other and say how great I was or how awful I was, depending on which is funnier in the moment. I want God invoked as well as Allah, Jehovah, Yahweh, The Fightin' Jesus and Bob and FSM and Odin & Poseidon and G'Broagfraan and Eris and The Cat Who Walks Through Walls and Heliopters For Jesus. I want it to be silly and fun and crazy and unforgetable. I don't wanna be buried, cuz that property could be better suited for the living. Just cremate me and put my ashes some place cool. Or several places cool. Just make damn sure I'm dead first before you set me on fire.

With that said, odds are I'll end up at a boring cathedral & everybody will be solemn & crying & being morose and miserable and they'll put me in a hole like all those other corpses taking up perfectly decent real estate. That's annoying. But I won't care. Cuz I'll be dead.
Comment by Galen on July 3, 2010 at 8:28am
@Monica - Then it'll be a real shame when I die giving them the finger. My loved ones had better keep their shit to themselves. My last few minutes of life will be for me, not for them.


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