Somebody Help! I've been so Sheltered!

I didn't realize just how sheltered I was all these years until I walked away from religion. The shit was a crutch!!! (Excuse the scurrilous language...lol).

It's been over a year now of freethought, and I'm definitely happier now, and I FEEL the freedom!

But EVERYTHING, and when I say everything I mean E- VE- RY- THING , was about God and church before this. I was even taught to ask God what I should wear each day (because "You never know, they'd say, "You might wear a color that some crazy person decides to use as a target to kill people wearing ") Damn..I was f-d up! LOL! Completely brainwashed. I was in church since being in my mother's womb until age 26! Loved the whole church thing. Yeah, I was real "churchy"

My confidence was based in what God thought of me. It was my identity. I feel like I've just started to really learn about myself.

I just sometimes feel like I have a lot of catching up to do (I always joke and say, I've been under a "rock" ...those of you former Christians know that's what they call Jesus...lol).

I don't know, it's hard for me to explain. I guess I just wanted to see if anyone else out there is facing what I am.

I was also very sheltered in my house growing up. I sometimes feel like I wasn't equipped with that....something....I don't know what to call it...but that "thing" that makes you feel like you can go out and conquer the world. Confidence? lol. Don't get me wrong, I feel good about the things I have accomplished, especially in light of the rough experiences I had to undergo in my household growing up. I just want to work on being more confident, more.....something..lol...I don't know. I usually try to be more positive...but hey, no one's positive all the damn time.

Anyway, just wanted to get that off my chest.

*Sighing*.....I guess I just have a lot more growing up to do.

Sorry for the pity party. I just feel safer expressing my feeling here than I would on facebook where all my Christian friends would swear it has something to do with a "hole" being in my heart that needs to be filled with god or saying they'll pray for me.

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Comment by Terry on April 28, 2010 at 5:06am: Just would like to welcome you and congratulate you on your emancipation from mental slavery. Wishing you all the very best, my sister in Reason, Logic and Rational Thought. Peace!

Comment by Brandon Johnson on April 28, 2010 at 10:56am: Nice to know you are not alone, isn't it? Glad to see the number of supportive responses for your situation here - And I totally know what you mean about the facebook NOT being the place to share these revelations. It's an uphill battle if it's you vs. 30 christian friends all berating you. But we can't let others hold back our own personal liberation!

Comment by Venus Lovejam on April 28, 2010 at 12:09pm: I'm always thrilled when someone has a moment of liberation from past religious beliefs. Hang in there. There's more like you than you think. A friend of mine use to be an Anglican Priest until he questions & doubted his beliefs. Non-believers come from so many walks of life, I find it always fascinating. May your journey be most educational, enlightening and rewarding.

Comment by Samantha J. on April 28, 2010 at 10:15pm: Chances are, you're joining conversations about things like evolution or something and it goes over your head. ...Been there. Hi. Have a t-shirt, we'll be here awhile.

But that's why I came here. And I'm learning all I can, so maybe we'll both find a way out of this. =)

Comment by Shanika on April 30, 2010 at 10:53am: Thanks for the support everyone! It's great to be on here:-)

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