"You HAVE TO believe in SOMETHING"
I can't understand why believers insist that you have to believe in something in order to have a good life.By something, of course, they mean a "higher power", something "higher than you". Smh. I just had a phone conversation with my aunt. I was speaking to her about an issue in my marriage that her and I had discussed earlier. She went on to advice that my husband and I believe in a higher power. I told her (again) that I don't believe in a deity or a higher power, nor do I subscribe to any of the religions. I told her my husband and I do have beliefs and morals, like the belief in the power of love, for instance. She went on to say, "but what is love, love is just an emotion, you need to believe in something more powerful, something outside of yourself in order for your marriage to work". I couldn't understand it. Why do we need to believe in a god in order to work through life's issues? I told her there are couples who believe in god or Jesus who don't have successful marriages. She agreed, and then said that you still have to believe in something.....smh!
She started to talk about faith, and the need to have faith in a common thing. I told her that we do have faith; we have faith in each other, we have faith in ourselves. I told her that faith in something you don't know exists doesn't make much sense to me anymore. She asked me who created the moon and the stars. I told her that no one has the answers to those questions. No one knows how it all got started or why we are here. I told her that scientists speak of the big bang, but still, they don't know how or why that begin. But, I said, the point is that NO ONE knows, and I'm pretty comfortable not knowing the answers to things that no one knows the answers to.
She took offense to that. She told me that religious beliefs are personal and that I shouldn't say no one knows, because she knows by faith and that she didn't just make this up, she got this from the bible...lol. I told her I don't believe in the bible any more than she believes in the Koran. There are things that you can get from both books that may be edifying, but I don't subscribe to any one book for all the answers to life or for a way to live my life. I told her that I understand her beliefs are personal and that my point was not to offend, I just wanted her to understand that I am not a believer and that it IS possible to live a moral life without belief in the supernatural. She changed the subject, but before we hung up, she spoke about how she woke up feeling good and said, "thank you Jesus, I know there is a higher being." I just laughed at her way of trying to reinsert her beliefs, and shook my head at her ignorance.
I've pretty much come to the conclusion, that believers are going to be offended just on the mere fact that you don't believe. Our lack of belief alone is an offense.
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Comment by Mario Rodgers on April 15, 2010 at 5:42pm -
She went on to say, "but what is love, love is just an emotion, you need to believe in something more powerful, something outside of yourself in order for your marriage to work".
This is the same kind of nonsense my family spouts at me at times. "How can atheists experience happiness? Where does love come from? How can you be good without God?"
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Comment by Leigh Van Gundy on April 15, 2010 at 5:56pm -
I'm baffled by the comfort they find in answers. I like that we don't have the answers, that we are still seeking and learning. I have this issue with my mother over getting offended. I have had religion shoved down my throat since the day I was born by my parents and had so many questions by age 10 that were never addressed, in fact ignored. Why is it that I don't get to be offended that for so many years they have not considered or respected my beliefs? Yet I am supposed to tippy toe around their beliefs so as not to offend. Oh well, all we can do is laugh and tell each other these typical stories =)
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Comment by Wendy on April 15, 2010 at 6:01pm -
What gets me is the "faith is such a personal thing." Exactly. So why the fuck are you trying to change MY faith? Just because you don't understand how I can be in awe of the natural world without needing to credit some greater power doesn't mean that my "faith" is meaningless.
It's so irritating that lack of belief isn't given the same automatic respect that believers feel they are entitled to.
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Comment by Holly on April 15, 2010 at 6:06pm -
I respect that people are entitled to believe in what religion they want to in life, even if I think that it's all a bit ridiculous. I really hate it when anyone tries to preach/peddle their views. That's when I usually switch off.
Thankfully, my parents (both non-religious) allowed me the freedom to form my own views of the world. and to believe in whatever I wanted to.
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Comment by Aimee on April 15, 2010 at 6:07pm -
I actually feel sort of offended that so many people can put blind faith into this make-believe force and as a result take no personal responsibility when things happen, good or bad.
If my marriage works it's because my husband and I worked through our problems in order to make it work. If it doesn't it means we failed. That applies to everything. Don't pray, do something!
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Comment by Lindsey on April 15, 2010 at 6:09pm -
And of course, the hypocrisy is lost on all of them.
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Comment by Leigh Van Gundy on April 15, 2010 at 6:11pm
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I get offended when they say it's personal because they invoke "god" 1000 times a day..."thank god" this and that. If it's so personal then keep it to yourself! I don't mind saying what I believe but nothing against those who don't. It's just that it seems they are allowed to question us but we can't question them. Something that really irritates me is prayer in public. If your god can hear you then you don't need to speak out loud, do it in your head. My husband and I went to a company picnic a few years ago and they said a prayer before we ate, in front of about 100 people. Why would you just assume everyone wants to pray?
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Comment by Michael R on April 15, 2010 at 6:12pm -
I used to hear this same stuff as well from my family. After nearly 30 years or so they've stopped making those statements. I am the only one out of my 3 siblings that has not had a divorce. I don't view divorce as necessarily a bad thing, but as christians, they do. I think they've lost their "moral high ground" to point fingers at me.
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Comment by Aimee on April 15, 2010 at 6:14pm
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But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.
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Comment by Owen on April 15, 2010 at 6:17pm -
Religious people often seem to use the word 'faith' to explain how they bridge that gap between God and the things you can prove - the term 'leap of faith' comes to mind. I don't understand why they need to make that leap.
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