In Laws
My wife and I are not out about our views, at least not directly. I think that most of our VERY conservative and christian family suspects that we are not like them, but they just don't know exactly how different we are.
Anyways, I do love my family. I also love my wife's family. I would not deliberately hurt them. I think that in order for our children to have a relationship with any of their grandparents, its best if we just let sleeping dogs lie, and let them think we have just fallen from grace. I am starting to have some issues though, especially now that my child is learning to talk and comprehend.
My problem is with the constant little things. My mother in law likes to teach the kids to pray, sing hymns, give books about Noah's ark, ect. I have limited my daughters contact with her because of this. I do not have a problem with her understanding faith when she is old enough to distinguish between fact and fiction. I do have a SERIOUS problem with this type of early indoctrination. Does anyone have any constructive ways to address this situation without damaging what family ties we do have?
Anyways, I do love my family. I also love my wife's family. I would not deliberately hurt them. I think that in order for our children to have a relationship with any of their grandparents, its best if we just let sleeping dogs lie, and let them think we have just fallen from grace. I am starting to have some issues though, especially now that my child is learning to talk and comprehend.
My problem is with the constant little things. My mother in law likes to teach the kids to pray, sing hymns, give books about Noah's ark, ect. I have limited my daughters contact with her because of this. I do not have a problem with her understanding faith when she is old enough to distinguish between fact and fiction. I do have a SERIOUS problem with this type of early indoctrination. Does anyone have any constructive ways to address this situation without damaging what family ties we do have?
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Comment by Matt on January 20, 2010 at 2:48am -
I would point out that they are your kids and therefor you do not want them being taught anything like that until they mature more.
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Comment by Clint Miller on January 20, 2010 at 7:29am -
Thats the approach I took with my parents.
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Comment by Whitney B. on January 20, 2010 at 3:40pm -
My grandparents did the same when I was young, sent me little children's bible story books, took me to church, but afterward my parents always asked me questions about it, did I think all the animals really could have fit on that boat? If God was forgiving why did he kill all the people, what were they doing that was so bad?
You can speak with your families about the things they do with your children, maybe try and reach some comprises, but it is hard to escape all forms of indoctrination, well intentioned or not, but the most powerful tool is teaching children how to think for themselves.
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Comment by Ryan_For_Reason on January 20, 2010 at 4:52pm -
The situation you described has been difficult for me as well. I offer no advice, but you are not alone in this. My wife's family is very religious. I too suspect they think I'm a heathen, but they will never bring it up. My daughters are constantly bombarded by my wife's parents with religious indoctrination. Books, stories, summer church program etc. My wife and I have agreed to disagree, but it is getting more complicated as our children get older. I don't know what to say other than good luck...if you figure it out let me know.
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Comment by Clint Miller on January 20, 2010 at 7:47pm
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The discussion will be happening soon I feel. Our second child is due next week and I feel the request for a "Baby Dedication" coming. I think its gonna go down like this ...
"We don't believe the same as you." end.
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