Hello, my name is Mike, and I'm an athiest. I've always known this (I think) but became comfortable with the idea when I was about 16 years old. I was always sort of self conscious about being an athiest; I didn't want cute girls to know or any of my friends on the football team to find out. But when someone asked me about religion, I wouldn't lie, I told them the truth and their response was always the same. They always felt sorry for me. Felt sorry that I wasn't going to heaven to play ping-pong with jesus and horseshoes with god. And I sort of felt sorry for myself aswell, that I didn't have something that wonderful to look forward to.
Recently, I was at a local bar with some friends having a few drinks. An older woman of about 40 with large, fake breasts engaged me in conversation. I like boobs, so I thought I would talk with her for a bit. Eventually, the conversation turned to religion (as it does when everyone is a few whiskeys deep). She told me I was such a nice young man, and that she just knew I had to be catholic. I said no, not really, and went back to my drink. She then asked what religion I belonged, and I told her none. As expected, her mouth dropped and she was flabbergasted and looked at me as thought I was the devil incarnate. I smiled and asked her if she had a problem with that, and she just shook her head....shook her head, and told me how sorry she was for me and that I was a lost soul. I then offered to buy her drink, explaining that I don't have to give money to a collection plate at church tomorrow and could afford it.
She walked away after that. Fuck me, right?