..ok, so its suddenly dawned on me that my 5 yr old daughter, veda, has sidled into a rather unnervingly consistant routine of attending sunday evening services with her gram cracker (my mother in law) every sunday, followed by mexican for dinner and sonic drive-thru dessert. I let her go for 2 good reasons and 1 fairly bad one. If you're a tired mama, you'll understand the latter and if not, I'll ask you to just overlook it entirely and move right along to the good reasons. 1] Veda and I have open communication about the unlikelihood of there being a "god". (Please note that I use the word unlikelihood because I refuse to outright tell her there isn't one.. I chose to let her reach the conclusion on her own.. and, to a very definitive extent, she has already done so; questions germane to the dinosaurs alone cast enough doubt in her mind to render her immune to casual brainwashing. 2] This 1,500 seat ampitheatre 'compound' of a church boasts a children's "wing" that features a 500 foot bubble wall, tandem bicycles that are connected, back to front, in a circle, and a host of other play things that make her gush with soulful deliniation. She doesn't go to church for the message.. unless she just pays no attention whatsoever and misses it, there IS no message that I can detect. They play and color pictures of ruth and such.. no more.
Now.. my problem is this: I could tell Veda was struggling with inner turmoil last monday morning while we waited on this bus. Finally, she told me she had a question to ask me and that she knew I wouldn't be mad, but she didn't want me to be upset either. "..shoot" i replied.. and she went on to tell me that gram asked her to ask me if I still knew where the cute lil pink 'new testament' bible is that she gave her when she was born.. fucking hell, I don't.. but, even if I did? I think I'd prefer, very much, to go out and (ugh) BUY her one.. with both the new testy AND the gory old one. If she's gonna have one, it's gonna be the full monte.. blood and hellfire and ruthlessness of the big man himself included.
How am I to navigate this sticky situation? Gram is aware of my belief (or lack thereof) and knows that I'm determined to let Veda decide whats what on her own. She means well.. I know.. and I don't want to drive a wedge between us.. but I need to be firm about this goddamned bible situation. I'd hoped to read it to her, chapter by chapter, as a complete book.. but she's too little right now.. she'd have freakin' nightmares!!! Any thoughts?