"I Am a Young Muslim. I Found Out That My Girlfriend Is Not Pure. Now I Want To Kill Myself."

A great letter I came across. A young Muslim Pakistani boy finds out his girlfriend wasn't a virgin, and e-mails a psychologist threatening suicide. The psychologist's answer is awesome.


Perhaps reading this account of the terrifying, inhumane, and repressive situation in your country shocks you, and you may feel that I am being unfair to Pakistan or to Islam, but my intention is neither to discredit Pakistan nor to insult Islam. I simply must start with these facts if I am to address your question in an honest and useful way. And, by the way, everything I have laid out above, both about child sexual development and about Pakistani culture, is factual—not my opinion, but facts which are indisputable and widely known.

Just as a fish, having been born in water and always having lived in water, does not ever realize that it is swimming in water, it may be difficult for you to see that you and your girlfriend are swimming in an environment of belief which totally demonizes and represses normal sexuality, and which makes normal human sexual development a crime and a so-called "dishonor," but that is a fact, and you must try to grasp it if I am to help you.


You say that she broke your trust because she lied to you about her previous boyfriend, but what choice did she have? If she had told you the truth, you would not have accepted it because you can only imagine yourself being with a "pure" girl. Not only that, Mir. If she had told you the truth she would have risked all the terrible things that can happen to a Pakistani woman if she is found out to be "impure." In effect, her culture and its life-denying, human nature-denying beliefs forced her to lie, just as your sad cultural indoctrination and your life-denying, human nature-denying beliefs are forcing you to reject her now simply because she had a life before the two of you got together. This is just another of what I call the "terrible consequences" of the barbaric, unrealistic, life-denying culture of Islam, not only in your country, but all over the so-called "Islamic world," which is really a medieval world with medieval values which sadly have lasted into the twenty-first century.


Your girlfriend did not want to break up with you. She cares for you—as you well know—just as you care for her. She is attracted to you—sexually attracted—just as you are attracted to her. You forced her to break up with you because you refused to accept her as she is, a person with normal sexual desires which she began to explore with someone else before meeting you. Your lack of acceptance is one of the causes of her guilt because when you questioned her over and over again, and when you rejected her as "impure," your words, those of a Pakistani male, carried the entire weight of the life-denying Islamic religion with them. I don't know if you, Mir, had any sexual experiences (other than masturbation, that is, which I am sure you did lots of) before meeting her, but I am certain that, if you did not have them, you would have had them if you could have. Satisfying sexual curiosity, and experiencing the need for sensuality and closeness—which I explained begins when the child sucks at the breast--is what human beings do unless they have been completely indoctrinated and broken by Islam, orthodox Judaism, fundamentalist Christianity, or some other life-denying system of belief.

His answer is a little long, you can read the full burn here.

Views: 1442

Comment by Dr.Grixis on April 15, 2013 at 11:14am

Seems to me that the more fundamentalist a person is, the more insecure and prone to violence they are. 

Comment by kOrsan on April 15, 2013 at 12:11pm

Grix, I take it even further. I firmly believe that any person who is obsessed with getting a "pure" virgin wife has genital insecurities, such as a small penis. This isn't meant as an insult, think about it. The girl's a virgin, so she doesn't know any better and thinks the man's little dick is good. The man knows that the girl doesn't know any better, so he has more confidence and enjoys himself.

It's of course not only that, there's also the satisfaction they take from being the sole "owner" something. Being the guy to drive the vehicle while it still has that new-car smell to it. Destroying and using something beautiful. Same reason those old Muslim geezers get married to little children.

Comment by Jorita on April 15, 2013 at 12:31pm

Don't know why he is upset he should kill himself and go for the 72 virgins waiting in his Muslim heaven.

Comment by Warren on April 15, 2013 at 12:35pm

When will it be that people will learn to respect others rights and realize that their customs, habits, meddling with peoples lives and religion impair others lives and freedom to do what is natural.

Most likely never.

Comment by Unseen on April 15, 2013 at 1:27pm

Taking a collection to buy him a Glock. My only reservation is that, you never know, he might actually use it to kill HER!

Comment by Reg The Fronkey Farmer on April 15, 2013 at 1:40pm

 "life-denying system of belief". An excellent term which I am going to reuse on a regular basis.

Comment by Random Cairene on April 15, 2013 at 1:43pm

I prefer to look at the full half of the glass .. the man wanted to kill himself and not kill her.

Comment by Simon Paynton on April 15, 2013 at 1:53pm

Marvel, that's a very good point. 

Comment by max stirner on April 15, 2013 at 4:30pm

** ah, yes...those "impure" women. Violence against women is, of course, OK. Thank God for "legitimate rape". Sort of a 'get out of Hell free' card.

Comment by Unseen on April 15, 2013 at 5:45pm

Rehymenizing is right up there with the idea of Asian women getting surgery so they can have more Caucasian-looking eyes. Ridiculous and pathetic. A beautiful Chinese, Japanese, or Thai woman is just as beautiful as a Caucasian woman.


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