Okay get this:

I'm a woman.

I'm an atheist.

I'm gay.

I have attended pro-choice protests.

I live in Alabama.

Yet I have not yet been beat up. Why is this? I'm living loud and proud, and I know there are haters out there, but nobody acts against me when I'm on my own. (When I'm out in public with a girlfriend, it's another story. People get hostile then.)

Oh wait, I forgot, I'm trained in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, and could take on pretty much any attacker without a problem, so long as they weren't armed. Even if they were armed, I know how to disarm them and how to operate a gun. So I'm in a pretty good position. It would take multiple attackers with guns in order to take me down. So instead of getting beat up, I would probably be the one doing the beating.

Is it possible that people sense that I am strong and that is why they don't mess with me? And how come more gay people don't learn martial arts so that they can defend themselves?

Views: 324

Comment by Gregg R Thomas on April 5, 2013 at 7:59am

I'm lost...do you desire a good ass whipping?

Comment by Ron Humphrey on April 5, 2013 at 8:37am

Most people are too apathetic or concerned only with themselves to give a rats ass about another person

Comment by Jimmy Russell on April 5, 2013 at 10:58am

Maybe I'm sheltered but it seems to me that females get the lesser end of the harrasment stick in the gay arena.   I'm sure if you run your mouth to the right people you will get the fight that it seems you are seeking.  However, I'd say you are a bit arrogant in your assumption of how bad ass you may be.  I don't care what BJJ you know, you simply are not built to take a solid punch from say a guy even my size or bigger.  That being said, how often do you hear of a man beating up a lesbian?  One of the core tennants of martial arts in general is to avoid the fight at all costs.  You seem like a persons with "small-man's disease" just waiting to show off your mad skills.  I'll admit though, if you can move like Rhonda Rousey, I'd love to see a few girls test you out. 

Comment by Reg The Fronkey Farmer on April 5, 2013 at 12:38pm

Bill Hicks on Alabama Xians. (054-1:25 if in a hurry)

Comment by futilethewinds on April 5, 2013 at 4:04pm

I'm not looking for a fight, I just find it interesting that no one has harassed me, ever. There are a lot of muggings in the area where I live, but nobody's tried to mug me. If I sound arrogant, you have to understand that I actually did have an incident in India where I had heat stroke and I fought off orderlies in a hospital (my heat stroke caused me to become confused and think they were trying to hurt me). It took 10 of them to strap me down and administer a sedative. I didn't wake up until like two days later.

Oh, and in India, if I had not been hospitalized so early, I might have had to use my martial arts, because the men were horrible pervs. Most of the people I was with were female, and many were young and hot. I am not extremely hot but I do have DAT ASS so I was followed around as they were. Men even took photos of my butt. It was extremely uncomfortable to be stared at wherever we went. And then men would try to close in on some of the females I was there with. I was ready to take them down swiftly if they tried anything. I'm glad I didn't have to, though, because it would probably get me in trouble with India's law to break somebody's arm or whatever.

Comment by kris feenstra on April 5, 2013 at 4:16pm

Maybe I'm sheltered but it seems to me that females get the lesser end of the harrasment stick in the gay arena.  

Depends on the region and type of harassment, I suppose. Your good ol' fashioned fag bash seems to be generally targeted toward men, yet sexual assault and even 'corrective rape' seems to be more targeted toward lesbians. It's hard to get accurate data though, as the concept of hate crime speaks to motives which are difficult to determine.

More aimed at the OP:

I think the prevalence of such activities seems higher than it actually is for a couple of reasons.

1) If something can be deemed a 'hate crime' in a media headline, it's going to garner more attention.

2) When actual hate crimes do occur, the problem is that they target more than just the immediate victim: it targets a broader subgroup. It's not like a fight where two people had a reason to tussle; it is a random factor for being targeted which falls beyond one's control.

When I look back at my culture in the 80s, I doubt more than three percent of the male population was openly gay. I also find it likely that men falling more on the effeminate side were more likely to be outed than the so-called 'straight acting' (such a stupid term) men. So here you have a somewhat visible minority which is quite tiny. Add to this that homophobia was much more socially acceptable, and in some circles even morally praised. You even have instances of law officials lashing out such as Operation Soap. On top of this, the social repulsion to physical fighting seemed to be lower.

Add all these things together and you end up with a somewhat visible minority as the target of violence for a reason beyond their control. Even if that violence is limited, it becomes a bit of a reverse lottery as to who will single you out as a target for hate/ violence out of a very limited group of people for a reason you cannot change or control. If you are in that minority, whether you have been victimized directly or not, it's going to leave you guessing as to who will try to harm you or not (socially, emotionally, or physically).

Things have changed for the better in this regard over the last few decades, but there are still issues and the lingering concerns from days gone by don't just evaporate. There are a couple of reported queer bashings in my metro region every year, and while that number is actually quite low, the impact of such random violence is going to be quite high.

What I am saying here is that the actual likelihood of violence any individual faces has probably gone down considerably over the years, but the perception of threat likely has not faded commensurately. That perception of threat is alive in the memories of those who have lived in and in a more collective cultural perception.

Comment by Real Life James Bond on April 5, 2013 at 6:07pm

I have been trained in BJJ, Taekwondo, Muay Thai, Ninjitsu, Japanese Jiu Jitsu, Karate, and Krav Maga (by a former IDF Commando none the less)  and Army Combatives (as I am also a member of the armed forces). I have been training in martial arts my whole life. I heavily doubt that people can sense it. The reason that people would leave me alone is because I am a 200 pound 6' 1" male who looks like I chew nails for breakfast. I also look like a complete muscle head (I'll admit it). I usually wear a beat up looking leather jacket and a military style (high and tight) hair cut. It's all about how people perceive you. If I walked up to someone and started a highly intelligent conversation they would be flabberghasted because I don't look like the intelligent type. Appearances do a lot. That, and I seriously doubt anyone really cares that much that they just HAVE to beat you up. It is a lot of trouble and the law doesn't protect them and they know it. I am thrilled that you haven't been beaten up, I would just take that as a good thing and leave it at that. 

Comment by Unseen on April 5, 2013 at 9:43pm

As far as handling an armed person, just hope they do what so many armed people do in the movies and on TV by poking their gun into the personal space of the person they are threatening.

It's hard to disarm someone who's 8 or 10 feet away.

Better yet (if you're the armed person), shoot first, fight after.

Comment by Simon Paynton on April 7, 2013 at 4:35pm

Real Life James Bond - is this you? 

Comment by Simon Paynton on April 7, 2013 at 4:38pm

I've always found that trouble just slides off me - it's always been like that.  If it doesn't, then apparently I have something of a reputation, I don't know where that came from.  Something like what Kairan said. 


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