You know who I feel sorry for? The kids...

... of people who think that naming them after religious ideas is clever and will help them. NO! Take my brother's best friend for instance. He and his girlfriend got pregnant at a fairly young age (well 21 isn't THAT young I suppose - but I'm 28 and I still think I'm too young). Now, I'd like to think that in this day and age, you would understand how a child can be ridiculed for a name it seems their parents chose while high. They decided to name her Nevaeh. Yes, that's HEAVEN spelled backwards. When my mom and I found out I think we both had the same disbelief in our faces. "What? Are they fucking crazy?" Now, my mother believes in skyguy and even SHE thought that was absolutely ridiculous.

So, I actually went and looked up the statistics on this because I had never heard of it before. I thought it was slightly clever because the sound of it isn't unappealing phonetically, just the definition. WOW! Do you know that Nevaeh is in the top 50 names for baby girls in the US? It hit 34 just last year.

I feel terrible for any kid that has a shitty name to begin with, but that's like my naming my kid Nrocinu. Whatever happened to James? Anna? Elizabeth? Nicholas? You should not be allowed to procreate if you insist on giving your kid a shitty start before they're even born.

I hope all the Nevaeh's of the world turn out to be staunch Atheists... just to smite their jackass parents.

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Comment by Reggie on July 14, 2009 at 5:59pm
I'm going to name my kids numbers, in their birth order, One, Two, and Three. Once they reach puberty, they will fast, smoke a hallucinogen, and embark on a vision quest that will determine their adult names. I imagine they'll be eventually called Jail, Hospital, and Ditch.
Comment by Jeremy Roney on July 14, 2009 at 9:08pm
Lol, of all the relgious names I'd have to say simply naming your kid God would definetely take the cake. Its not a God complex if that is actually your name right?

I can so see some poor teacher trying to pronouce One as if it were some foreign name.. umm, Ony? Do we have an Ony?
Comment by Carmela Ramos on July 15, 2009 at 3:37am
Unfortunately, a young child by the name of Neveah was found murdered in The River Raisen in Michigan last month. Too bad her name didn't save her but letters at her memorial talked of how she was given that name because it was her home now. How truly sad.
I was named after a group of nuns and a french singer. My poor Mama, my choice to be an atheist makes her feel like she did something wrong when it comes to her youngest daughter. lol
Comment by Calvin Chestnut on July 15, 2009 at 9:56am
I'm naming my kids Charles and Richard. Although with my luck they'll grow to be theists and despise me as much as Nevaeh will her parents.
Comment by Frink on July 15, 2009 at 11:37am
@JamesC - LMAO!! Took the words right out of my fingertips. I have some friends who just named their twins Elijah and Esther. Elijah, meh, can be shortened to Eli without much fuss. But Esther is possibly one of the most phonetically ugly names I've ever heard. For some reason I think of cattle when I hear it. I wish I astral projection were real. Because I would astrally project my hand slapping the backs of both their heads right about now.
Comment by Dave G on July 15, 2009 at 12:09pm
@Frink What's her middle name? If I were her, I'd seriously consider using it.

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