Hi all! I figured it's about time for my first blog post and I also have something that I would really love to hear opinions on.

I'm from the Bible Belt and the dating pool for an atheist is pretty small here. Also add in that I just got out of a 4.5 year relationship, (where I always avoided religion talks with the very religious boyfriend), it's been tough. So I recently joined a dating site. And it's amazing because it seems like people are less afraid and will happily tell you their beliefs. There's also a search option to select if you only want to find people that are agnostic or atheist. Haven't been on there long, but I love and I've let my guard down.

While on this site I assume if a very religious person sees my profile, they'll see that I'm an atheist and move on. No big deal. I'm not an option for them. But some random guy that lives hours away from me decided to find my profile and call me out on it. Out in public if I'm having religious discussions or tell people I'm an atheist, I'm prepared for the reaction and I'm able to remain calm. I was not prepared to receive this message:

"There is a God hun. I don't know why you dont believe in one but I hope you relize he is real. Remember when you change your mind all you have to do is say *Heavenly Father, I know that I have sinned against you and that my sins separate me from you. I am truly sorry. I now want to turn away from my sinful past and turn to you for forgiveness. Please forgive me, and help me avoid sinning again. I believe that your Son, Jesus Christ, died for my sins, that He was raised from the dead, is alive, and hears my prayer. I invite Jesus to become my Savior and the Lord of my life, to rule and reign in my heart from this day forward. Please send your Holy Spirit to help me obey You and to convict me when I sin. I pledge to grow in grace and knowledge of you. My greatest purpose in life is to follow your example and do Your will for the rest of my life. In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.* Hope you think on this."

It pissed me off. I know this isn't a drastic and hateful message but it just rubbed me the wrong way. I was not prepared to come across this on this site.

This was my response:

It's people like you that have driven me to a dating site. The ones that are so sure they're right about god that they bay like a donkey and damn you to hell once you say otherwise. Texas seems to be infested with them but only because they scream and shout and take drastic measures. You make us hide in fear, but not from hell, from your constant badgering and trying to shove your beliefs down our throats. Here I'm able to find people who aren't afraid of saying they're atheist or agnostic. There's even a nifty little option for the search if you only want to look at a certain religion. Why have you found me and decided to send me this crap?

You say you want a girl who is intelligent in science. Finding someone who is actually intelligent in science and is a christian is like find a needle in a haystack, bub. Unless you mean "intelligent design" and that is not a science at all.

I could on and on and tear you a new one but I think I'll stop with this:

Live a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved ones.

I was just going to delete his message and ignore it, but for some reason it really got under my skin and I had to respond. This is also a very tame response from what I was originally planning to say.

What do you guys think? Did I overreact? How would you have dealt with this?

Views: 368

Comment by Lorraine on May 11, 2012 at 10:55am

Nicely said! In fact, I may have to steal that response at some stage, if I may?

I don't think you overreacted at all. In fact, I think you were very restrained and polite. Careful, though - you might start to give atheists a good name! I would simply put this in the "but he started it" category and move on. If he gets offended, tough shit. Perhaps then he might think twice about shoving his beliefs down someone else's throat next time.

Comment by Mabel on May 11, 2012 at 10:58am

Rachel wrote (snippet): But, the way I see it, if he's so bent on pressing his beliefs on you, then you have every reason to want to tell him what you believe and why you don't appreciate that kind of attention. If he keeps pestering you, I'd suggest blocking him, if that's possible.

@ Leslie - Please let us know if he comes back. I'd love to see what he comes back with. I'm sure it will give me a good laugh or maybe the need to throw up a little in my mouth; hopefully the former.

Comment by Boatman on May 11, 2012 at 12:24pm

Excellent response to an arrogant, self-assuming jackass.

I love that paragraph that begins "Live a good life...."  That is the finest prose it has been my privilege to readin a long while.  It is concise and to the point. Thank you for it, and good luck.

Comment by Amy L. Cook on May 11, 2012 at 1:17pm

I don't think that you overreacted at all. You were on a dating site and you made your beliefs clear so that you could find a like-minded individual, not get an education on what other people think you should believe. He took it upon himself to seek you out, saw that you were an atheist, and decided that you needed an "education" in the ways of the lord (LOL). This happens to me a lot, too. I am fortunate enough to have found a boyfriend who is also an atheist so I am no longer using any dating sites, but I get a lot of this crap on my posts to other sites like Facebook and Twitter. Christians will friend me because they see that I am an atheist and they want to troll everything I post to my page and just be nasty in general. It is ridiculous and It's no different than those idiots who creep around your neighborhood, going door to door to sell their religion to you. I am not sure why they cannot help themselves, other than their preachers tell them they must all try to correct the ways of us "heathens", but it also seems like they enjoy feeling superior to other people and telling other people what they ought to think, do, and believe. They don't even realize how very rude it is! This was unsolicited preaching, and no one needs that in their life. I don't see any overreaction here. He solicited your reaction, so he gets what he gets!

BTW - love your response. Keep fighting the good fight!


Comment by Forrest Schaeffer on May 11, 2012 at 1:19pm

Well put. I would have either a) ignored or b) been very rude. I'm also from the belt (southern MO) and can only take so much of that kind of spew. Kudos, and good luck! Stick it out until you find someone with a brain who can use it ;)

Comment by GD Heathen on May 11, 2012 at 5:45pm

Hell no Texas, if they are going to come at you with BS it's perfectly fair to go right back at them.  I don't understand why they feel it's their duty to call you out.  I don't target religious people and send PM's begging them to deny christ.  You did good.

BTW Commerce TX?  I've been all over this state, that's a town I haven't seen.

Comment by Leslie Ann on May 11, 2012 at 6:25pm

Thanks yall! I am in love with this site from these responses.

And I haven't heard anything back from him yet. If he does, he's going realize that before was a tame and nice response.

Also, feel free to steal any of this :)

Commerce is a small town by Greenville and Paris. We have the largest sister college of A&M but it's still small town. I love it and I think it is because of the college that more open minded people are here and they don't judge. I'm originally from Wills Point where the entire town revolved around religion and everyone was a judging hypocrite.

Comment by Lesa on May 11, 2012 at 6:50pm

No, you didn't overreact.  I'd be so pissed, what a jerk.  He may have limited his search for Atheists just to be high and mighty.  I wouldn't be surprised if he sent this to others.  I hope he felt your glowering expression coming through in words as he read your reply. 

Comment by Obfuskation on May 12, 2012 at 12:08am

It's not overreacting to call bullshit on bullshit.

Comment by diggerbanks on May 12, 2012 at 5:08am

A very good response. I agree with Mo, very quotable.


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