Im scared to tell anyone im an atheist... Its really hard for me to talk to my family about how much i've changed. My friends have stopped being my friends since i opened my eyes and saw that blind faith for what it really is, a lie. Im angry at everyone who talks to me about religion because everyone is alloud to talk about how good jesus love is and things like that, but when i talk about how jesus love is not real for me i get rejected. I know i shouldnt worry that much about what people think, but lets face it! we all want to be accepted by everyone who sorrounds us and even more when those "everyones" are your "loved ones". I cant talk to my friends about why i dont believe in god, and when i can they think they outsmart statistics and sciene with bible verses and it really frustrating and funny. Its overwhelming to have to hear from your friends how well they did in church last sunday, and how god "helped" them with their hurt, but when i speak about how well i have done with my "pain" and how I, by myself, helped myself without anyone's help, people look at me and say "it was god who helped you, you should be gratefull that he still loves you". Therefore, im starting to ask myself, im starting to question if maybe, just maybe, it would be easier to believe and lay everything i had, have or will have in someone elses shoulders, as in for example; god. Although i know god is in every believer's head, maybe if i let him take over mine, maybe i could feel better and be accepted, but then i think, i wouldnt be me, i would be what society wants me to be and how i can live with myself knowing for the rest of my life that i had to "settle" in order to be an accepted member of my friend circle, my family and society, instead of keep "trying" in order to have a mind of my own? How should i deal with this? How can i make people understand that im the same sweet, kind, loving person that i was when i believed and that what i dont believe know doesnt make me a bad person, on the contrary makes me a better one, because i am the way i am because i want to be because i chose to be this way, not because someone "above" is telling me to be so?