There once was a time when I was the most faithful and religious of them all... But through the process of higher education, and the use of logic and critical thinking, I could no longer deny the fact that I had grown into a full-blown atheist, leaving my parents and my brothers and sister behind in Never-never Land. I did not intend to tell them about it...not for a while at least (I planned on moving out first). I was reading Christopher Hitchens' "God Is Not Great" and left it on the kitchen counter by accident before going to work one day. You would think that I was caught with drugs with the way my mom accused me of "bringing garbage into her house." She accused me of simply angry with God because my life didn't pan out as I had wanted) it to. She asked me if I had been raped (as if that could provide for her a logical explaination as to how I lost my faith in God) and she told me that I might as well be a Satanist. My father said that there will be no talk of this "non-sense" of there being no God under his roof. He also told me that unless I changed my mind, he did not want me to be present at his deathbed. My sister told me that I had allowed Satan to take over my heart and mind, and my brothers told me that they would no longer come to me for advise they needed.
Eversince that day, life at my home has been mental tourture. I've been dealing with depression and self esteem issues that I hadn't had problems with prior to my accidental coming out. My parents were so furious with me and my disbelief that I was sure they were going to kick me out of the house. Part of me wishes they had. All of my friends were Christian and it was just a matter of time before they stopped wanting to see me (I think they were scared that if it could happen to someone as faithful as me, then it could also happen to them. My disbelief was seen as a weakness and a disease). Pretty soon the only social interaction I got was through the people I worked with, who have been mostly very cool with my open atheism.
With the economy the way it is I cannot afford to get my own place and I've been desperately looking for another job so that I can finally escape. I know that things will get better someday; they have to. I plan on going to my first atheist meetup this month. Yay! Super excited about that...
I want to thank everyone on this site for being there for me when my own family hasn't. I read the blogs and discussions and it makes me feel happy and sane and not so alone. :-)