Comment by Ed on January 10, 2012 at 8:57am

Bob,

Staying in the closet is not healthy IMO. Relationships are based on respect and love. I think those you are close to will accept your position. It's important to remind them your the same person still.

"To thine own self be true."

Comment by OJ Reeves on January 10, 2012 at 9:11pm

Hi Bob,

I wish I could say I feel you pain, but I haven't been in the position so I can only imagine what it must be like.

I agree totally with Ed. I think suppressing yourself will keep you unhappy and will make it all the more painful when you eventually do decide to come out.

Your wife married you because of the person you are. In coming out, there's nothing about you that is any different other than her knowledge of your lack of belief. You are still you, and will continue to be you in the way that she's known you since before you were married.

The idea of being a soulmate doesn't change just because you lack belief. Sure, there might not be such thing as a soul, but I do think there is a chemistry between people that can feel amazing. The label is different, the idea is the same.

Best of luck mate.

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