If you're heterosexual, you can't begin to appreciate how difficult it is being gay in a mostly straight world. You're surrounded by potential mates, and can afford to be choosy. I don't have that privilege. Even when I meet other lesbians, 99% of them are already with someone else, and if they break up with that person, they're with someone else in a few weeks' time. Meanwhile, I have been single for three years. I guess I could be more outgoing and more involved, but as an introvert, I…

Okay get this:



I'm a woman.



I'm an atheist.

I'm gay.

I have attended pro-choice protests.

I live in Alabama.

Yet I have not yet been beat up. Why is this? I'm living loud and proud, and I know there are haters out there, but nobody acts against me when I'm on my own. (When I'm out in public with a girlfriend, it's another story. People get hostile then.)

Oh wait, I forgot, I'm trained in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, and could take on pretty much…

There's a "What Women Want" and a "What Men Want" thread, but I don't think what I want quite belongs in either category because they are heteronormative threads. "What Women Want" is really "What Women Want from Men" and I'm a lesbian. "What Men Want" (From Women) is for men, and I'm a woman. So here goes my own thing.

I want a woman who is understanding and kind, not just to me, but to people in general. I want somebody who knows who she is and has her life together, not a big mess…

Pro-gay: There is nothing wrong with homosexuality.

Anti-gay: AIDS!

Pro-gay: AIDS is also caused by dirty needles and heterosexual sex.

Anti-gay: Gay people are more promiscuous, so they make AIDS a bigger problem.

Pro-gay: AIDS is spread mostly by straight people.

Anti-gay: Gay sex is inherently more risky than heterosexual sex.

Pro-gay: You're a bigot.

Anti-gay: You're immoral/damned.

I'm tired of seeing the same debate a thousand…

I have to find brand new friends because the old ones were a disappointment. I hate having to do this. I'm an introvert, and it's not easy for me to crawl out of my shell. All I want is a small group of people to be consistently decent. It shouldn't be hard. Yet, it is.

If you ask me what happened with my old friends, I will tell you, but it is a long and possibly scandalous story.