I knew a little old lady who believed, till the day she died, that there was a God in heaven and thus everything was good with the world.

I was seeing this girl who was kind of odd; she had pen nibs instead of nipples.

During sex she'd write things in blue all over my duvet. The first night she wrote: The ironsmith fashions it and works it over the coals, he shapes it with hammers and forges it with his strong arm: he becomes hungry and his strength fails, he drinks no

The second night she wrote: water and is faint. The carpenter stretches a line, he marks it out with a…

In the late evening of a balmy spring day God was found face down in the sky, dead to the world.

Attempts at resuscitation were unsuccessful.

The police conducted some initial investigations and then stood around self-consciously.

The world religions bickered. 

Muslims wanted God buried straight away. Hindus wanted him burnt. Mormons proposed cloning…