"Please say, 'so help me god'..."

"But I am an atheist..."

"Well, we have this secular version here, 'this I affirm under the pains and penalties of perjury'-”

"Well, actually I'm an agnostic, so I MIGHT accept some vague, latent teleological deistic/open-theistic/pantheistic/panentheistic force... maybe I should do the god version after all..."

"Whichever you like sir."

"But what if I think god is emergent and so WE are the first reasoning manifestation of…

This was in the news yesterday: …