Living in Oklahoma can be hellish at times. I have to keep telling myself, "At least you don't live in Kansas. You could have been born in Kansas." Don't get me wrong, I'm proud of the progress that my state has made in recent years. We're gradually becoming a tolerable place to live. However, I do plan to get out of here as soon as I can.

I haven't even tried to date anyone in almost two years now. It's pointless. Sure, I'd love to have some fun with a girl, but fun for me includes…