The Curse

Malachi 1:1 to 4:4



1:1 The burden of being the chosen ones, as articulated by a guy named Malachi.



The Lord made something very clear. He said "I have loved you Jews thoroughly, and thoroughly hated just about everyone else." …

Vision of Zion

Zechariah 1:1 to 14:1



1:1 The words of the Lord suddenly appeared in the mind of Zechariah saying “The Lord is upset with your fathers. Don't be like your fathers.”



One night I saw a man riding on a red horse. Behind him were other riders also on red horses. That was pretty…

Cursing the Edomites

Obadiah 1:1 to 1:21



1:1 The point of view of Obadiah.



1:11 The Lord thinks this about the Edomites. They stood back and laughed while Jerusalem was destroyed. Truth be known, they even aided in the destruction. …

Valley of Jehoshaphat

Joel 1:1 to 3:2



1:1 OK, here it is, the word of the Lord that just happened to come to Joel one day. It just popped into his head. And the word is that the crops not eaten by worms are eaten by locusts and the crops not eaten by locusts are eaten by worms.



2:1…

The Lion’s Den

Daniel 4:4 to 12:13



4:4 King Neb dreamed again and this time he remembered what it was about. It was a tree. The tree was a giant beautiful tree that everyone loved. All the people and animals lived together in and under and around the tree. But then a scary messenger appeared from some vague alternate dimension and began…

The Fiery Furnace

Daniel 1:1 to 3:30



1:1 The Lord allowed King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon to conquer Judah and take the Jewish people captive. King Neb called his number one chief castrated slave and told him to pick some of the brighter Jews to come live in the palace and learn to speak the local language. One of them was Daniel. The…

The Valley of Dry Bones

Ezekiel 18:1 to 48:35



18:1 Repent for your sins and God will have mercy. It's not your father's fault you’re being punished. God judges you individually. Sin, sin, sin, tsk tsk tsk, your sins have been many. The people of Tyre are a bunch of sinners and the Babylonians will beat their asses and punish…

The Son of Man

Ezekiel 1:1 to 17:24



1:1 One day when I was with the captive Jews of Babylon, the heavens opened and I saw visions of God himself. I saw a huge stormy thingy with flashing lights and some weird multi-winged, multi-headed monsters. They were like part ox, part lion, part man, and part eagle. It was so scary. I…

Prophecy of Captivity

Jeremiah 20:1 to 47:1



20:1 People hate me. They conspire against me. The governor of the church heard all of the slanderous crap I was saying about him and he had me arrested, beaten, and put in stocks by the gate. Bastard. When I was released I told him that the Babylonians would come and take him and…

Lamentations

Jeremiah 1:1 to 18:1



1:1 The sad miserable tidings of Jeremiah, into whose mouth many words were put by the Lord.



1:4 God knew me before I was even in my mother's belly. Before I was even a sperm. Then when I became a fetus he decided he wanted me to be a…

Prophesy of Doom

Isaiah 1:1 to 66:1



1:1 The hallucinations of Isaiah, the son of Amoz, which he saw concerning Judah and Jerusalem back in the days of Uzziah and a bunch of other kings.



1:2 Ok listen up. God says he has taken good care of you up until now but you are all a bunch…

Rebuilding the Temple

Nehemiah 1:1 to 13:31



1:1 Hi, my name is Nehemiah. I am a totally loyal servant to the king of Persia. It is my job to bring the king a cup of wine now and then. It’s a pretty important job so I’m a pretty important guy.



2:1 One day I brought the king a cup of…

The Fall of Jerusalem

Second Kings 8:1 to 24:1



8:1 The woman whose son Elisha had revived from illness was sent by that holy man to Philistinia to survive a famine. She eventually returned and the king was nice enough to give her back the land he had taken from her earlier. Things…