All Blog Posts Tagged 'jerusalem' (13)

Lovers and Haters

How do I look? Too Jew? The Curse

Malachi 1:1 to 4:4



1:1 The burden of being the chosen ones, as articulated by a guy named Malachi.



The Lord made something very clear. He said "I have loved you Jews thoroughly, and thoroughly hated just about everyone else." …

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Added by Brad Snowder on April 14, 2013 at 2:04am — 1 Comment

Young Beer and Fresh Women

Extra Strong Vision of Zion

Zechariah 1:1 to 14:1



1:1 The words of the Lord suddenly appeared in the mind of Zechariah saying “The Lord is upset with your fathers. Don't be like your fathers.”



One night I saw a man riding on a red horse. Behind him were other riders also on red horses. That was pretty…

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Added by Brad Snowder on April 7, 2013 at 12:07am — No Comments

Free Slaves

Your taxes at work. Cursing the Edomites

Obadiah 1:1 to 1:21



1:1 The point of view of Obadiah.



1:11 The Lord thinks this about the Edomites. They stood back and laughed while Jerusalem was destroyed. Truth be known, they even aided in the destruction. …

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Added by Brad Snowder on February 16, 2013 at 1:04pm — No Comments

Bugs and Worms

They started out practicing under our garage. Valley of Jehoshaphat

Joel 1:1 to 3:2



1:1 OK, here it is, the word of the Lord that just happened to come to Joel one day. It just popped into his head. And the word is that the crops not eaten by worms are eaten by locusts and the crops not eaten by locusts are eaten by worms.



2:1…

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Added by Brad Snowder on February 3, 2013 at 12:14pm — No Comments

Don't Eat Me Bro

Gravity is only the bark of wisdom's tree, but it is what preserves it. ~ Confucius 500 BCE The Lion’s Den

Daniel 4:4 to 12:13



4:4 King Neb dreamed again and this time he remembered what it was about. It was a tree. The tree was a giant beautiful tree that everyone loved. All the people and animals lived together in and under and around the tree. But then a scary messenger appeared from some vague alternate dimension and began…

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Added by Brad Snowder on January 20, 2013 at 11:17am — No Comments

But it's a Dry Heat

Geene Courtney, Sausage Queen. Sponsored by the Zion Meat Company during National Hot Dog Week, 1955. The Fiery Furnace

Daniel 1:1 to 3:30



1:1 The Lord allowed King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon to conquer Judah and take the Jewish people captive. King Neb called his number one chief castrated slave and told him to pick some of the brighter Jews to come live in the palace and learn to speak the local language. One of them was Daniel. The…

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Added by Brad Snowder on January 12, 2013 at 10:34pm — 1 Comment

Dem Dry Bones

Figuratively speaking... The Valley of Dry Bones

Ezekiel 18:1 to 48:35



18:1 Repent for your sins and God will have mercy. It's not your father's fault you’re being punished. God judges you individually. Sin, sin, sin, tsk tsk tsk, your sins have been many. The people of Tyre are a bunch of sinners and the Babylonians will beat their asses and punish…

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Added by Brad Snowder on January 6, 2013 at 11:54am — 2 Comments

No Cake for Me Thanks

Port-o-Fess, for the priest on the go. The Son of Man

Ezekiel 1:1 to 17:24



1:1 One day when I was with the captive Jews of Babylon, the heavens opened and I saw visions of God himself. I saw a huge stormy thingy with flashing lights and some weird multi-winged, multi-headed monsters. They were like part ox, part lion, part man, and part eagle. It was so scary. I…

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Added by Brad Snowder on December 30, 2012 at 11:04am — 3 Comments

Haters Gonna Hate

Hey come back. Are you going to get a pencil to write this down? Prophecy of Captivity

Jeremiah 20:1 to 47:1



20:1 People hate me. They conspire against me. The governor of the church heard all of the slanderous crap I was saying about him and he had me arrested, beaten, and put in stocks by the gate. Bastard. When I was released I told him that the Babylonians would come and take him and…

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Added by Brad Snowder on December 23, 2012 at 2:57am — No Comments

Cry Baby Cry

Photographer Jill Greenberg's latest exhibition, End Times, features children crying - like the child seen here in 'Shock.' The children are provoked by Greenberg taking away their candy or toys. This technique is known as manipulation. Lamentations

Jeremiah 1:1 to 18:1



1:1 The sad miserable tidings of Jeremiah, into whose mouth many words were put by the Lord.



1:4 God knew me before I was even in my mother's belly. Before I was even a sperm. Then when I became a fetus he decided he wanted me to be a…

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Added by Brad Snowder on December 16, 2012 at 2:33am — No Comments

Woe to the World

Jambi: 'The wish is granted. Long live Jambi.'                 Pee-wee: 'Thanks Jambi!' Prophesy of Doom

Isaiah 1:1 to 66:1



1:1 The hallucinations of Isaiah, the son of Amoz, which he saw concerning Judah and Jerusalem back in the days of Uzziah and a bunch of other kings.



1:2 Ok listen up. God says he has taken good care of you up until now but you are all a bunch…

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Added by Brad Snowder on December 9, 2012 at 2:39am — 2 Comments

Sword and Hammer

New Zealand Government reverses prison ban on communion wine. Rebuilding the Temple

Nehemiah 1:1 to 13:31



1:1 Hi, my name is Nehemiah. I am a totally loyal servant to the king of Persia. It is my job to bring the king a cup of wine now and then. It’s a pretty important job so I’m a pretty important guy.



2:1 One day I brought the king a cup of…

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Added by Brad Snowder on October 7, 2012 at 1:49pm — No Comments

Off With Their Heads

Is it Cold or Flu? The Fall of Jerusalem

Second Kings 8:1 to 24:1



8:1 The woman whose son Elisha had revived from illness was sent by that holy man to Philistinia to survive a famine. She eventually returned and the king was nice enough to give her back the land he had taken from her earlier. Things…

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Added by Brad Snowder on September 23, 2012 at 12:37pm — No Comments

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