All Blog Posts Tagged 'Rapture' (6)

My take on Camping & the Rapture

This originally appeared on: http://matthewfunti.me 

 

Fear-monger, religious charlatan and all-around crackpot Harold Camping has finally emerged from whatever cubbyhole he's been hiding in since his ridiculous prediction of the world's demise failed to come true. The much ballyhooed day of reckoning came and went like any other Saturday, without the realization of apocalyptic earthquakes and Christian prophecy. Even the most brainwashed of…

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Added by Matthew Funtime on May 25, 2011 at 10:00am — No Comments

How Harold Camping got it Wrong

So here it is, getting close to the end of the day in the Mountain Standard Time Zone. No rapture, no excitement, no intense shaking of the ground beneath my feet. How did Harold Camping get it so wrong?



Let's just say it's in those numbers he's been playing with. He forgot one important step, which I will now correct for him and give you the real date of the rapture. You see, Harold forgot how much the lord loves things in threes. Father, son and holy ghost. Jesus rising three days… Continue

Added by ungodlynews on May 21, 2011 at 10:00pm — No Comments

Muhammed Steals the Raptchuhhrr!

It's Draw Muhammed Day  meets "The Rapture", coincidence?... I don't think so.

 

I predict this wouldn't set well over where Muslim extremists' at, raging all fury, and, perhaps, furry wrath. That will, subsequently, draw a snowball effect, rekindling the horror of both The Crusade/The Inquisition, in which they(fundies of the Abrahamic faith), all gather near the holy lands, in a vicious holywar that would end in killing them…

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Added by BadHandshakers on May 20, 2011 at 10:34pm — 1 Comment

May 21 is the Rapture

May 21 is Judgement Day. It's been conclusively proven by Harold Camping using mathematics. That's right, mathematics. In fact, anyone who disputes his word is obviously blinded to the truth of the bible.



But I have a few questions.



Firstly, when God descends to destroy the world, what will happen to the rest of the universe? I mean, we know that the universe is enormous,… Continue

Added by Martin Pribble on May 5, 2011 at 9:34pm — 3 Comments

Contest: Best after Rapture bumper sticker or response

Well the 21st of May is coming upon us quickly (of course there is also a back-up December rapture date). What can we say to those that are left behind? I mean other than asking them to name 1 person that was raptured.

I can start this off with a few that come to mind:



#1 Notice: The rapture has been cancelled as the lord could not find any worthy souls.

#2 Apologies. The rapture has been indefinitely delayed due to interference from excess carbon dioxide in the…

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Added by Brian Iverson on April 29, 2011 at 9:19pm — 19 Comments

God 4.0 = Yahweh + Upgraded Followers

     It is well known that Jews consider their god to be 1.0, Christians have god 2.0 now with Jesus, and Muslims think they are 3.0 since their doctrine acknowledges and addresses both prior religions.  So I got to wondering what 4.0 would look like.…



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Added by Tim Brooks on March 7, 2011 at 11:00pm — 3 Comments

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