Robina Westbrook has not received any gifts yet
Each day that comes, with all the normal tasks and issues, feels unreal to me. People tell me to "keep things as normal as possible." Do they have any idea how hard that is to do for some of us? I am neither a stoic nor that accepting of bad fortune. I want to get at it and fix it, damnit! That is my nature and, for good or ill, it is just me.
I feel helpless and at the mercy of a bunch of rogue cells that aren't even in my body. It is about him. But NO ONE can tell me that I must not feel what I am feeling or express it. I KNOW it is not about me but about him. I wish it was me. I wish I could trade places with him and go through this for him. I wish and that is human.
I am (surprise!) rational enough to know that all the wishes in the world change nothing. It's the doing that changes things and accepting that there is nothing more that I can do other than what I am doing is a bitter pill to swallow. But anyone who says that learning you or someone precious to you has cancer doesn't scare them is LYING. OK...that is off my chest.