Women do not get raped because...

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Comment by Unseen on November 8, 2012 at 11:00am

 I don't think getting robbed is equivalent to getting raped.

You're thinking of the "give me your wallet" kind of robbery, not the getting beaten to within an inch of your life kind. THAT IS equivalent to getting raped because of the factor of being overpowered.

I'm not sure what your point is in bringing up male-on-male rape.

Comment by Unseen on November 8, 2012 at 11:07am

I went looking for some stats on this subject, in particular because I wondered if the incidence of gay (male) rape was as high as that of heterosexual rape.  I found some here.  It's not a dry boring list, but it does indicate that only 4% of rapes reported in the USA are by strangers. Apparently only 1 in 4 rapes actually get reported, and also rapes leading to murder are not counted as rape, but as homicide.

Does a girl looking for a Friday-night sexual adventure ("hook up") really regard the guy she has spent an hour talking to and dancing with a stranger? What is "stranger rape"? I suppose for most people it's the situation where a girl is dragged into the bushes or the dark alley by a TOTAL stranger. You may actually know someone for years and not know what's in their heart or in the back of their mind. Simply knowing someone for a while doesn't necessarily mean that they aren't a stranger to you. Maybe someone you've known for a while says or does something shocking and you realize that you really don't know them at all. Are they not strangers?

Comment by Strega on November 8, 2012 at 11:20am

Of course it is, Unseen - violence is violence and I support your point there.

Bringing up male rape?  No, I was just explaining why I went looking for stats.  The ones I found were much broader, and information ought to be helpful in our process of understanding.

I am trying to post whilst I think.  Probably doesn't help you much, because I don't think linearly.  However, it's the unfolding of ideas that triggers me to post, so I'm sorry if I leave you to unpick my postings, but without my curiosity, I probably wouldn't post at all.

I am over-viewing in my head and on this thread, the different causes for rape.  If there are several unrelated triggers that lead to rape, it might then be that we need several unrelated techniques to counter them. 

I feel drunkenness (or being high) is a different kind of trigger than appearance or clothing.  Not a better or worse one, just different.  I mentioned corrective rape in a much earlier posting (or maybe on a different thread). That is where lesbian women were raped to 'turn them straight'.  That's different too.  Education might address some of these triggers or actions.

I know you think rape is bad.  We all do - at least publicly!  And everyone who commits a crime is bound to search for an excuse to justify their actions.  Who wouldn't?  If this weren't the case, the Republicans wouldn't have got so pilloried recently over the term "legitimate rape".

Comment by Unseen on November 8, 2012 at 11:36am

I am over-viewing in my head and on this thread, the different causes for rape.  If there are several unrelated triggers that lead to rape, it might then be that we need several unrelated techniques to counter them. 

Let me say as far as "triggers" that I will never believe that a normal guy with a healthy attitude toward women can be "triggered" into committing a rape though he might find himself getting involved in a rape in a purely technical sense by misjudging the capability of the female to give sober consent or his own ability to make judgments despite being inebriated.

On the whole, there are guys with right attitudes and then there are a few potential rapists. The only potential part is that certain situations may seem to give them a "go." Unless you know of a so-called magic bullet to remove potential rapists from the scene, all some of us are saying is that it behooves a woman to beware and to be cautious OR to simply accept the risks involved.

Comment by Unseen on November 8, 2012 at 12:17pm

arch, I think it's called Oz.

Comment by Unseen on November 8, 2012 at 12:23pm

BTW, if anybody has a realistic solution to the rape problem, please set it forth here. Branding people making reasonable suggestions or even observations with "blaming the victim" clearly isn't a solution.

Comment by Unseen on November 8, 2012 at 1:54pm

You don't have any in your wardrobe already?

Comment by Unseen on November 8, 2012 at 2:33pm

"Yo mama wears combat boots."

Comment by Strega on November 8, 2012 at 3:01pm

You know, Arch, this could help you if you want to protect your arse from being chewed, too.

Comment by Unseen on November 8, 2012 at 4:33pm

I think the only aspect of being drunk that's a trigger is that it's a trigger to making stupid decisions like extending too much trust to someone one hardly knows. But as for the idea it might trigger a man to rape. I can't agree to that beyond saying, yes, it might trigger a rapist to rape, which is a different matter entirely. Most men, I believe, aren't even potential rapists of the monster kind. That is different from the guy who misjudges the degree of a female's impairment. And don't forget even she may deny being too drunk to have sex, but then may feel differently about it the next day. Is that really rape? I guess that's open to discussion. Don't forget that male judgment, too, is impaired by alcohol.

And let's not limit the discussion to alcohol. Drugs can have a similar effect.

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