Women do not get raped because...

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Comment by Dustin on September 24, 2012 at 4:49pm

"Were your actions advisable in that hypothetical scenario?  No, but that doesn't create justification for the violent response."

I completely agree with this statement. It definitely doesn't create justification for the violent response but to me that is different than saying one is blameless of their own actions of which may not be advisable.  

I suppose I am a bit pessimistic in my view of humanity and specifically males.  Some people claim 'Oh how dare you assume men do not have the intelligence or willpower to control their own desires to rape a woman if only we taught them the women are real people too and they deserve respect'

To which I reply, 'Yeah but you're assuming these men actually give a shit about the feelings of someone else' and more so I believe part of the desire to rape is precisely to put someone in a position of which they have no control.  

I really don't think some men have the control that is needed.  And if they can't control themselves then would they seek professional help?  Probably not because who would want to go to a doctor and claim that they rape women for pleasure?  Most likely not many men do this...


Comment by anonymous on November 1, 2012 at 2:13pm

women get raped caused they were asking for it. nuff said

Comment by Emperor Milos on November 1, 2012 at 2:59pm

Feedest ye not, troll!

Comment by matt.clerke on November 1, 2012 at 6:54pm

PEOPLE get raped because someone raped them

There, I fixed it.

Also, archaeopteryx, you missed an entire category of rape: women-on-men. Just recently (within a year or two), a woman in Russia held a man against his will, force fed him viagra, and raped him repeatedly for three days.

Comment by Strega on November 1, 2012 at 8:59pm

Rape is not sex.  It is violence.  Ignoring both the external physical violence to force submission, or the blackmail violence to force submission, the act of penetration itself is violence.

When a man gets aroused, his penis increases in size and length from around 3" to around 6", and becomes hard.  When a woman gets aroused, her vagina increases in size and length from around 3" to 6", and becomes soft.  This means when consensual sex occurs, the parts fit. 

In the case of a rape, we are talking about jamming a 6" peg into a 3" cavity, repeatably.  That is not sex - it's violence.

Comment by Kir Komrik on November 1, 2012 at 9:18pm

I can't seem to get anyone's name right for the last 2 days ... trying again. ;-)

Hey Kris,

You have clearly delineated the bunny trail of reactionary thinking:

That's a bit like saying people who wear expensive clothes are asking to get mugged, or men who dress flamboyantly are partially at fault for getting fag bashed.  While it is true that certain manners of dress may make someone stand out as a target for certain crimes, I find it very difficult to suggest that this makes them in any way at fault for someone else's criminal activity.

When we start thinking otherwise then we start justifying anything. We have to accept your position as axiomatic, imo.

- kk

Comment by Kir Komrik on November 1, 2012 at 9:35pm

@matt.clerke,

Now that is a new one on me as well. The gravamen of the debate, imo, comes down to what if a man has sex with a woman but only does so because he is not aware of something about that woman or her motives? That's where it gets tricky. My conclusion? The guy had sex for his own reasons as well, prudent or not, stated or not. In the worst case scenario, its just two people using each other. We can reverse the sexes and the answer is the same, imo.

- kk

Comment by Strega on November 1, 2012 at 9:51pm

Blaine, don't hold back, say what you really mean! :)

Comment by Kir Komrik on November 2, 2012 at 12:03am

Jessica,

Yea, but what about the real cop? :-)

I think it is perfectly okay to say that there are smart vs. not so smart plays in life. But that isn't the same question brought up here, imo. No matter how stupid I am, if I leave my house door unlocked and I am robbed I am 0% responsible. The burden for remedy must always fall on the perpetrator, the revoker of natural rights, not the reverse. When we start thinking like that it just gives license for anyone to rationalize anything, claiming that they can therefore do whatever they please to someone else. I could use some extreme examples from Nazi Germany, but you get the idea. This can't be allowed in a just society.

I know I'm probably going to get a lot of really negative responses from this post, but I don't care.  I think that a woman has to be responsible about how she carries herself or she's setting herself up for becoming a target for predators.

I would venture to assume that there's a chance a lot of guys on this forum would agree with me but are probably too shy to say so because they don't want a woman to feel offended or imply that it is her fault if she gets raped.

Well don't worry about me honey, I'm not shy. And I still don't think that a girl or woman should be held to account for the purpose of remedy for being raped.

I used to be this kind of woman and I have been raped several times. You'd think I would have learned the first time but it just forced me deeper into my addictions of drinking etc which caused me to find myself in the same circumstances as a way of life for many years. Looking back on it, if I had been more sensible about some of my choices I probably wouldn't have been raped. I was stupid for putting myself in situations with men that I barely knew being alone with them, and this was STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!

And some of your choices might have been ill-advised, just like leaving my door unlocked would be. But that is not the same thing as liability.

Men have a responsibility even greater, to be gentleman and to protect the women around them. Unfortunately this virtue is passing by the wayside like rotary phones, and the addictions of pornography are rampant and it is becoming an epidemic in this country.

I disagree with you here. True economic, legal and social liberation of women requires there be no strings attached. This kind of stuff is a hold-over from an unequal age. I would rephrase it to say we all have an obligation to look out for each other, regardless of sex or condition.

There's responsibility on both sides. The victim mentality portrayed in this sign seems correct until you really examine what it's implying. It's implying that men are evil.

Okay, I like that better.

I don't believe men are evil, they are just VERY weak when it comes to seeing beautiful women.

Agreed, and I'm not ashamed of it. Then again, I'm not ashamed of anything.

It's the way GOD made them ;)

Obviously, I do not agree with that. Its just the way I was born. ;-)

- kk

Comment by Colleen on November 2, 2012 at 1:40am

I do believe that it is on the individual, regardless of the sex of that individual, to carefully consider their own limitations and the potential consequences for their actions.  However, and this is a big however, I do not believe that any person deserves to be raped as a result of their actions or choices.  I fear that many people here are confusing these two things.

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