Comment by Andrew on October 8, 2012 at 12:46am

i've always wondered if there was some conspiracy by which the Catholic church was requiring confession as a means of data collection, and that somewhere there's a huge database of every bad thing that every confessor has ever done, just in case they need blackmail material down the line

... or as a way for the higher-ups to gather faith-info about their priests and employees, who'd feel compelled to go to confession

Comment by onyango makagutu on October 8, 2012 at 8:41am

It is the way for the priest to collect tabs on everyone and then during mass on any given sunday he can poll and preach on that topic then everyone goes home thinking the priest knows something about them forgetting at the same time they gave the priest the information

Comment by SteveInCO on October 8, 2012 at 10:23am

An old joke.  A teenaged boy goes to confession, and admits to "fornicating."

The priest is alarmed [yeah, right--like they don't hear this shit all the time]--okay, he feigns alarm and tells the boy that as part of his penance he must reveal the name of the girl.

The boy refuses.  The priest decides to try to elicit the information

"My son, was it Angela?"

"No, Father, it was not"

"Was it Kristyn?"

"No, Father, it was not"

"Was it Lisa?"

"No, Father.  Actually it wasn't any of them.  I didn't fornicate.  But thanks for the leads!"

Comment by archaeopteryx on October 8, 2012 at 12:52pm

To keep priests from adding to our unemployment problem --

Comment by Dale Headley on October 8, 2012 at 2:37pm

I have a good Catholic friend who goes to confession nearly every Sunday, usually to confess something he had chosen to do the previous Saturday night.  It goes without saying that the thing he did Saturday night was with the assurance he could cleanse his soul the next day.  Ain't religion wonderful?

Comment by Anthony Christian on October 8, 2012 at 9:01pm

The Church doesn't require confession, it's a sacrament that is there for those who want it. It's recommended that your go at least 2 times a year but its not a, "sin," to not. And if your friend is assuming that he can go to to confession and just confess for being bad, he obviously doesn't feel bad about it and that is committing a sin of presumption (that you can commit a sin and just confess it later.) And, keeping a poll? Ask yourself how that sounds. Have you ever even been to confession?

Comment by archaeopteryx on October 8, 2012 at 9:04pm

Not without my attorney present --

Comment by Heather Spoonheim on October 8, 2012 at 10:06pm

Confession is just another means of humiliating people into subservience - with the reward of being 'forgiven' without ever having to make amends.

Comment by Doug Reardon on October 8, 2012 at 11:44pm

The first time I went to confession I had to make sins up, I couldn't think of any!  So the next time I got to confess lying.

Comment by James Cox on October 9, 2012 at 2:40am

An old joke.  A teenaged boy goes to confession, and admits to "fornicating."

About the best atheist joke I have heard so far, Thanks!


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