i've always wondered if there was some conspiracy by which the Catholic church was requiring confession as a means of data collection, and that somewhere there's a huge database of every bad thing that every confessor has ever done, just in case they need blackmail material down the line
... or as a way for the higher-ups to gather faith-info about their priests and employees, who'd feel compelled to go to confession
It is the way for the priest to collect tabs on everyone and then during mass on any given sunday he can poll and preach on that topic then everyone goes home thinking the priest knows something about them forgetting at the same time they gave the priest the information
An old joke. A teenaged boy goes to confession, and admits to "fornicating."
The priest is alarmed [yeah, right--like they don't hear this shit all the time]--okay, he feigns alarm and tells the boy that as part of his penance he must reveal the name of the girl.
The boy refuses. The priest decides to try to elicit the information
"My son, was it Angela?"
"No, Father, it was not"
"Was it Kristyn?"
"Was it Lisa?"
"No, Father. Actually it wasn't any of them. I didn't fornicate. But thanks for the leads!"
To keep priests from adding to our unemployment problem --
I have a good Catholic friend who goes to confession nearly every Sunday, usually to confess something he had chosen to do the previous Saturday night. It goes without saying that the thing he did Saturday night was with the assurance he could cleanse his soul the next day. Ain't religion wonderful?
The Church doesn't require confession, it's a sacrament that is there for those who want it. It's recommended that your go at least 2 times a year but its not a, "sin," to not. And if your friend is assuming that he can go to to confession and just confess for being bad, he obviously doesn't feel bad about it and that is committing a sin of presumption (that you can commit a sin and just confess it later.) And, keeping a poll? Ask yourself how that sounds. Have you ever even been to confession?
Not without my attorney present --
Confession is just another means of humiliating people into subservience - with the reward of being 'forgiven' without ever having to make amends.
The first time I went to confession I had to make sins up, I couldn't think of any! So the next time I got to confess lying.
About the best atheist joke I have heard so far, Thanks!
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Sunday School November 23rd 2014
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