Comment by CJoe on November 2, 2013 at 10:13pm

No. I think it still sounds patronizing, and not remotely "ok and fair." Why does the husband have to be the leader, or the person to defer to? Sometimes (many times) women are more responsible or resourceful than their male counterparts. It's best that each partner works within their strengths, whatever they may be, and not shove themselves into arbitrary gender roles. A person isn't a better leader simply because they're equipped with a dick.

Comment by Strega on November 2, 2013 at 10:32pm

@ ASJ - Why shouldn't husbands submit to their wives?  Who decided it would be the wives that were to do all the submitting?  Why does anyone have to be told to submit?

Comment by CJoe on November 2, 2013 at 11:38pm

It's not a "feminist" perspective; it's a human perspective. When two people live together, they should have mutual respect. You're assuming the "sensible partner" is a man based on nothing but his gender. If two people can't agree, it's not any smarter to just go with one person's opinion because of their genitalia. It's not sensible to say, "Hey, when we can't agree, we'll just go with what you think because your penis qualifies you to make important decisions."

It would be so much easier to just say "Have mutual respect for each other and listen to the other's opinion. It's a partnership and both people have thoughts to contribute and talents to bring to the table. If you can't agree, compromise."

My boyfriend and I have mutual respect for one another. We're not in a gender-battle. We present our arguments based on our own research (because, yes, we take an active role in decision-making and actually research things) and one or the other eventually gives in, or admits they were wrong. We're pretty compatible so we have yet to disagree totally on anything.

Frankly, I think it's just lazy when women just defer to their husbands in important decision-making situations. I suppose, in those situations, it is more sensible to allow the person that actually thinks to make decisions. But I'm not intellectually lazy.

Comment by Reg The Fronkey Farmer on November 3, 2013 at 5:02am

What would Jesus do? I suppose he would do what it says in Ephesians 5:22-24. After all its his word.

Comment by kOrsan on November 3, 2013 at 6:20am

What would Jesus do? He'd probably point out the hidden no-true-scotsman when you mumble "oh well that's unchristian."

Comment by Ed on November 3, 2013 at 7:52am

Why do theists have to rely on an ancient text to determine the correct way to interact with their partner? You treat your better half as an equal, you learn to compromise when appropriate, but most importantly, you work as a team player. Almost all religions place the "dick" on a superiority pedestal. And it takes a shallow man to take advantage of it.

Comment by Atheist Exile on November 3, 2013 at 9:19am

The Bible definitely, by example, subjugates women. But it's not as bad as it once was before Christianity enjoyed some reforms. The Quran and Islam, on the other hand, are unreformed. In the modern world, Islam takes the prize for male dominance / female subjugation.

Comment by Diane on November 3, 2013 at 9:23am

Ironically, I would defer to a husband who has earned my respect and trust, but not because a book tells me to do it, and not just because he's a male.  

I am a single parent - I would love to defer to somebody once in a while.  As it is I have to make all the decisions, earn all the money, provide all the discipline, etc.  I have certainly earned my own respect and defer to myself often.  I am never off the hook though.  

Comment by Strega on November 3, 2013 at 10:44am

What would Jesus do? 

Isn't that a redundant question?  It would appear from the teachings of the church, that Jesus never got married and never had to consider how a marriage might work. Asking what Jesus would do is like asking the Pope for an opinion on sexual positions.  They are totally unqualified to opine on the subject matter.

Comment by SteveInCO on November 3, 2013 at 11:35am

Oh, but Strega, not having sex IS a sexual position, clearly.   That's why atheism is a religion.

/sarcasm

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