Comment by Kris Feenstra on February 22, 2012 at 4:10pm

I know this is true because the great great grandfather of a friend of a friend of my mailman heard his dog speak English.  The dog revealed to him the three sacred truths:

1. The fridge light does stay on when you close the door on the sole provision that it knows it isn't being watched.
2. When a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it, it does make noise.  It makes a strange gurgling noise followed by a series of short, high-pitched yelps.
3. Scroödinger's cat was dead the moment the box was closed.  It had nothing to do with the poison; the whole rig was a set-up.  He knew too much and had to be eliminated.

The man passed these truths down to his son, who unfortunately didn't speak English.  As such, they were translated into Dutch, and the original English version was mysteriously lost.  The Dutch translation, for reasons unknown, was translated into one of the Inuit languages and only ever passed on verbally.  It has since been translated back into English and recorded in an indisputable document... which you are reading right now.  Don't worry though, my source was authoritative.  It was revealed to me by a jiggling cactus while I was tripping out in the desert. 

Comment by Eoganacht on February 22, 2012 at 6:37pm

Scroödinger's cat was dead the moment the box was closed.  It had nothing to do with the poison; the whole rig was a set-up.  He knew too much and had to be eliminated.

This made me laugh.

Comment by John Siqueiros on February 22, 2012 at 10:37pm

I would post the Far Side's cartoon about cows briefly halting their standing and talking when they see a car coming .. but it's copyrighted and I don't want to cause that sort of trouble. It's easy to find the cartoon with a google search.

Comment by JC Hamner on February 23, 2012 at 2:35am

Kris, that was fantastic. Mind if I use that sometime? Also, it could use image treatment like the original post.

Comment by Kris Feenstra on February 23, 2012 at 1:23pm

Sure, as long as correct my "Schrödinger" typo.

Comment by Real Life James Bond on April 6, 2013 at 4:40am

David Berkowitz heard a dog speak English. Too bad it told him to kill a bunch of people.

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