Jesus on crosses

This made me laugh.

Comment by Ray R. on June 21, 2013 at 10:23am
Didn't know Jesus could rock a mullet .
Comment by Emperor Milos on June 21, 2013 at 10:39am

I'm still surprised that he's white!

Comment by Dr. Bob on June 21, 2013 at 12:52pm

LOL!  OK, that one's funny.

Comment by The unbeliever on June 21, 2013 at 3:49pm

Sounds like Bill Hicks to me!

Comment by max stirner on June 21, 2013 at 4:09pm

** The gospels are fictional recruiting propaganda

The life of Jesus is like the life of Sherlock Holmes. They had no lives. They are fictional characters­.

Holmes and Jesus have also taken on a life of their own outside of canonic texts allegedly about them. Witness Holmesian fan fiction novel, ‘The 7% Solution’ — the title refers to Holmes’ addiction to injectable cocaine. Theology, starting with Paul (fl. 50-65 CE) and including the gospels is a messy mix of hellenistic fantasy and apologetic fan fiction.

• Holmes’ London and Jesus’ Jerusalem are fictional. There never has been a 221B Baker Street. Dr Watson did not write ‘The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes’. Pilate was not governor of Judea -- that office did not exist until after Jesus' death. None of the four gospels was written by the people whose name each bears -- none ever met “Jesus” in the flesh.

Jesus did not talk to Pilate using grandiloquent rhetoric according to John (written100 CE). Pilate was noted for cruelty and disdain for the people -- the Ecce Homo scene exculpates Pilate. Jesus was an apostate jew; local affairs held no interest for Rome. The penalty for Jesus’ religious crime was stoning.

• After destruction of Jerusalem (70 CE) xians authored an anti-semitic conspiracy theory that jewish religious authorities and “the people” had accused Jesus of claiming to be “King of the Jews.” Xians side with Rome; jews become christ-kil­lers.

Jesus could no more die on a cross than Holmes could die from a heroin overdose.

Comment by Reg The Fronkey Farmer on June 21, 2013 at 5:20pm

How did Santa get into that picture?

Comment by Dylan Martin on June 21, 2013 at 8:37pm

Hilarious.

Comment by Gallup's Mirror on June 22, 2013 at 10:57am

That image makes Jesus look like he's doing stand up comedy (or sit-down comedy, I suppose.)

Crowd: *Laughter*

Jesus: How did Moses make his tea? Hebrews it!

Crowd: *Laughter*

Man in Crowd: Tell us a parable, Jesus!

Jesus: Well, I once did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

Crowd: *Laughter*

Woman in Crowd: Please heal me, Lord! I have an infection!

Jesus: Uh-ohhhh! When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble!

Crowd: *Laughter*

Jesus: Hey folks! How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!

Crowd: *Laughter*

Comment by Unseen on November 18, 2013 at 9:14am

Comment by Unseen on November 18, 2013 at 9:20am

Christian: "Jesus Saves!"

Jew: "Okay, but Moses invests."

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Started by Devlin Cuite in Small Talk. Last reply by Gallup's Mirror 1 minute ago. 126 Replies

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