bloody hell

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Comment by Reg The Fronkey Farmer on April 15, 2013 at 6:19pm

Hi Arch…it has been rumoured but the evidence for reverse transubstantiation is… not very…substantive.

However my exhaustive research into the subject did turn up some evidence which has been….PEE reviewed!!

Comment by Strega on April 15, 2013 at 6:31pm

Excellent!

Comment by Dale Headley on April 15, 2013 at 7:05pm

Just wondering:

   If the eucharist is administered by a pedophile priest, does it count?

   Were priests born with the power of transubstantiation?  If not, at what point do they gain the power?

   Does the blood and flesh come from any specific location on the body of Jesus?  I mean I'd like to know before I swallow.

   Has all this blood and flesh been properly refrigerated for the last 2,000 years?  Is there an expiration date?

   At what point will Jesus run out of blood and flesh to donate?

   How does Jesus transport all of this blood and flesh to each church?

   Should P.Z. Meyers be charged with felony kidnapping, or is it misdemeanor necrophilia?  And if he flushed it down the garbage disposal, is it first-degree murder?

   If I really liked the taste, could I ask for "seconds"?

   If I were to imbibe excessively at the altar, would I be considered a "Jesus hoarder"?

Comment by Kairan Nierde on April 15, 2013 at 7:23pm

Doug, that definitely sounds like emotional child abuse: telling kids magical church food will bleed if they bite it. WTF? Glad they didn't pull that shit in my parishes.

Dale-I do like they way it tastes. Given the opportunity, I'd totally snarf a couple if they weren't part of a symbolic act affirming Catholicism. What do you know, I guess there is something I miss about religion!

Comment by Reg The Fronkey Farmer on April 15, 2013 at 7:25pm

Yes, these are undoubtedly very important theological questions indeed. If only there were some knowledgeable Christian apologetics on site to help give us straight answers rather than “wafer thin” platitudes.

Did “Wafergate” achieve anything? Yes, it upset a bunch of Catholics for a while. Ah I love the smell of blasphemy in the morning. I once met PZM at a conference (in Catholic Ireland haha) and congratulated him on his actions.

Comment by _Robert_ on April 15, 2013 at 8:25pm

@Belle...some apple juice just came out my nose

Comment by Strega on April 15, 2013 at 9:17pm

@Belle - fantastic!

@Robert - did you transmogrify the apple juice?

Comment by _Robert_ on April 15, 2013 at 9:42pm

@Stega, I think so and I am getting concerned because now apple juice is flowing from my palms and feet. Did you happen to catch Penn and Teller wearing their lightning rod hats while they blasphemed?

Comment by Unseen on April 15, 2013 at 10:32pm

I wonder what Jesus' farts smelled like? Like fresh baked bread?

Comment by Strega on April 15, 2013 at 11:54pm

@RobertPiano The internet must be one big blob of blasphemy, if you count the number of times OMG or even better, OMFG is typed.... snap goes the break of a commandment.

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