I just read Richard Raymond's atheist prayer. Here's mine, verbatim.
Dear God. Kill me. Please! I have lived a full life with no (well, a few small ones, maybe) regrets. I'm ready to terminate my existence. I'm waiting, God. Nothing's happening. I'll try a little harder: please, please, pretty please, oh great God. I know you have the power to kill me; so why don't you? It shouldn…