(Updated November 14, 2011)   When I was growing up, my father was extremely harsh and controlling. He was never physically abusive, but he was an emotional nightmare. I don't hold a grudge against him any more; we've spoken and made amends, so to speak. As a small child, however, some things about him were terrifying; he was very tall, his voice was deep and loud, and every time he got mad, it w…