I came here because I was diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer on 11/11/11. My first breast cancer diagnosis was in Aug. 2009 and I finished treatment in Feb. 2010. Last Friday mets showed up in my lung. While there are advances every day in technology, this is still a terminal diagnosis, and I'm 44 years old.
Sometimes I wish I could pray, but there isn't anyone to pray to. People find such comfort in the imaginary world of religion, but I can't do it. And I don't want to.
How do you get through for terminal illness and death as a person of reason? How do you deal with the constant "gifts" of prayers?
Nov 17, 2011
In March 2011 I was diagnosed with mouth cancer. It was six months since I had noticed what I thought was an ulcer on my gum. Since knowing the facts, I've discovered that anything like an ulcer that persists more than three weeks should be looked at by a doctor or dentist.
Anyway, I had a maxillectomy in June and was given the all-clear. I now have an obturator in the roof of my mouth and attend regular check-ups and refits of the obturator as the soft-tissue in my re-grows. I had quite bad trismus (restricted jaw movement) after the surgery but have overcome this by regular jaw exercises (using a TheraBite)... after four months my jaw opening is virtually normal, but the exercises continue to ensure there is no relapse.
From the start I took a scientific view of the whole thing. I saw the medical treatment as an opportunity to experience something new. This may sound a little weird, but the fact that the hospital includes teaching medical students made the experience more meaningful. I am pleased to cooperate and have students present during my treatment. Photos have been taken during the treatment, including the surgery.
My positive attitude has probably helped my recovery from the surgery. Both the surgeon (who I see regularly for post-op monitoring) and the prosthetist (who made the obturator) say I am a particularly good patient and am recovering very quickly.
It's still hard sometimes. I have some numbness on the side of my nose and cheek where the surgery took place. There's been slight improvement in feeling, so I hope this continues, but I'm told that this can take years and there's no guarantee that full feeling will return.
I'm fortunate that I work as an independent software developer and can work at home most of the time. This made it easier to cope with the after effects of the surgery, particularly in the first six weeks when I was on a lot of medication as well as having difficulty eating normal food.
Nov 21, 2011
My father is dying. He was diagnosed with pacreatic cancer last monday, but the deterioration he's experiencing is horrible, he's lost a lot of weight, he's all yellow because the tumor is now afecting the liver and the last doctor we saw, told me my father couldn't take surgery because he's to weak. He's 78, he had an amazing life and I will miss him deeply.
I come here to find support, some kind of rational support, one that does not involve God, Angels, Chakras or anything like that.
I mean, come on, I know my dad is dying, the last thing I need is someone telling me God can work out a miracle that will never happen. It sickens me to listen family members telling my mother everything's gonna be fine if she's faithful to God, I know their heart is in the right place, but, how cruel is that? telling someone it's his/her responsibility to generate the conditions for a "miracle" to happen, a miracle we all know won't happen.
I guess in a way, knowing that someone you love is dying, I mean being aware of it's imminence gives you the time to tell them everything you want before they die as opposed as loosing someone unexpectedly.
Anyway, if someone has already gone through this or is currently in this same situation, I'd love to chat.
Thanks for reading and being rational thinkers, I needed you.
Apr 15, 2012