Coming Out Godless: What's Your Story?


Coming Out Godless: What's Your Story?

We all come from different backgrounds & have different reasons for identifying ourselves as atheist or agnostic.

Whatever your story is, we'd like to hear it. Please share & encourage others who are considering "coming out"!

Members: 329
Latest Activity: May 26, 2016

How to tell your Religious Parents you are Atheist

Discussion Forum

I DON'T recommend "coming out" if you're ...

Started by Sadly 'M' iCantSay. Last reply by Raquel May 26, 2016. 50 Replies

As Diminished as any Good Christian

Started by Lucid. Last reply by Lucid Sep 8, 2015. 3 Replies

Who else is hiding?

Started by Johnny Walker. Last reply by AlexOfCeaser Mar 14, 2015. 2 Replies

How I found my way!

Started by Emily Savannah. Last reply by _Robert_ Feb 25, 2015. 1 Reply

Coming out to my catholic parents

Started by Colleen. Last reply by Roberta Upton Cross Oct 29, 2014. 19 Replies

From Catholic to Mormon to Atheist

Started by Tom Smith Aug 20, 2014. 0 Replies

It was pretty much like this.

Started by Lewal. Last reply by Lewal Feb 26, 2013. 2 Replies

Being an 'out' Atheist at work.

Started by Zombie Atheist. Last reply by Jens Schwaiger Oct 10, 2012. 6 Replies

How committed are you to your atheism?

Started by Anachro1. Last reply by Ken Hughes Mar 1, 2012. 29 Replies

Your god contradicts all I live for.

Started by Sebastian Torren G.. Last reply by Suzanne Olson-Hyde Oct 12, 2011. 2 Replies

Here I Am

Started by Kat Humble. Last reply by Kat Humble Sep 20, 2011. 4 Replies

Another Brit - religion as a dangerous habit.

Started by Helen Pluckrose. Last reply by Steve Sep 4, 2011. 3 Replies

How I Lost My Faith in One Month's Time

Started by Kim. Last reply by Jack Frost May 30, 2011. 28 Replies

Where do I go from here?

Started by Kevin Marks. Last reply by LovelyGirl Apr 10, 2011. 3 Replies

i don't think i'll be a christian much longer...

Started by S.S.. Last reply by MikeTheInfidel Mar 27, 2011. 15 Replies

From Bible-literalist Fundie to Outspoken Atheist

Started by MikeTheInfidel. Last reply by MikeTheInfidel Mar 27, 2011. 3 Replies

Losing My Religion

Started by Wesafc. Last reply by Wesafc Mar 22, 2011. 2 Replies

Comment Wall


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Comment by CJoe on December 6, 2010 at 6:14pm
Ali, have you read any content on the site? Just curious. Your question can be answered in many, many ways.

For starters, atheists do not believe "in" anything. Atheists are all different, so there is no one unifying "belief". The only thing any of us definitely have in common is a lack of belief that there are gods. We all have different values; each of us has chosen our own purpose. If we are passionate about a specific cause, we become activists (LGBT rights, women's rights, civil rights, environmental protection, etc) and what drives us is, generally, betterment of the world. Some atheist, however, just like to float along and enjoy the ride; enjoy what this life and this planet have to offer while they're here.

Your question can only be answered by each individual atheist, because our values and priorities are all different.
Comment by Aliqsandre Suguitan on December 6, 2010 at 5:46pm
Atheists do not believe in God.

What do they believe in, anyways?
Comment by Angela Gorman on November 5, 2010 at 7:48pm
This site is incredibly therapeutic.. I learned when I came out godless, that there is such a value in writing things down, then tearing it up or even better.. put it through a shredder, (no internet in 1986)! It can be painful at times and the more you write, the more you remember about the lunacy of what we were told and how much we feared it all.. eventually it is worth it. It is like a huge weight being lifted off your shoulders and my coming out led to my brother revealing to me that 40yrs before, the parish priest had been abusing him. For me, the questions from some of my believing relatives are easier to answer than the questions were to myself about why I still believed. My life is so simple now and I just try to make life better for other people... changing others by example and showing everyone that we can lead extremely fulfilling lives without the weight of hell fire and damnation sitting on our shoulders. Religion instills fear which sadly manifests itself in the sort of insecurity which you felt Elizabeth. Every day, life will get better and better.
Comment by Elizabeth Peart on November 5, 2010 at 3:19pm
@James: Thank you! Yes, I have a nasty habit of believing that I can't do something for myself or that I'm useless/too weak/stupid/insignificant to do whatever it is I'm trying to do, and so I think this may have had something to do with my clinging to religious belief for so long. It was little better than an emotional crutch, and I've probably achieved more for myself, and made myself a better person by waking up to reality.
Comment by Elizabeth Peart on November 5, 2010 at 2:24pm
This is going to be long-winded but here goes. I come from a pretty typical family, and I was raised by my grandparents (mom worked away from home a lot) and so I was exposed to the choir music and hymns of my (believing) Methodist Welsh grandmother and my Anglican grandfather. I was given the usual kid's Bible when I was small, and so I just accepted the existence of God like anything else I was taught. When I started school, we sang hymns and went to the local church once a week for a service, and the headteacher (possibly one of the best examples of Christianity I have met, a truly wonderful man) taught R.E. i was surrounded also by pretty much all Christian families (with the exception of a single Muslim girl and a Jewish boy) which meant I was pretty much in the whole 'believe in God' thing up to my neck.
Things continued in the same vein, although my family have never regularly attended church or anything like that, until I was probably in university. There I signed up for the Christian Union and a church, and even became a worship band bassist, and did evangelism, gave Bible talks and played in the band.

I guess it all came unstuck due to things that happened to me during university, both to me personally but also to others. One of them was when I became seriously ill with a thing called polycystic ovarian syndrome. Prayer after prayer, time after time spent looking through the Bible for some sort of ánswer. I still ended up spending close to two years in and out of hospital getting treatment. Science, not prayer, is the reason I'm much healthier now, not prayer.

Then a supposed friend betrayed me. He promised me a lot of different things, I waited and waited until it was obvious he was never going to live out any of these promises to me and then called him out on it. He threatened violence, and even showed me violence on several occasions. It sent me to try and commit suicide twice, yet when I turned to my church I was expected to immediately forget this.

I also had in that time my grandfather go through serious illness, a friend of mine attempt suicide and some other stuff.

Another straw came with my historical study of the Bible. Going on YT and other places, as well as reading a lot of books, including most of those of Richard Dawkins, I began to notice a huge problem with the Bible: history doesn't agree with it. I noticed the flaws in the OT account of the Flood, of the foundation of Israel, of the story of Jesus and of the early Church, both from a historical point of view (I studied ancient history) but also a scientific, philosophical and moral point of view. Quite simply, I saw the Bible as junk.

I eventually quit the worship bands, stopped attending church (made easier by the fact I moved away after university graduation) and stopped attending Christian Union meetings. I still haven't declared myself openly atheist but some people in my circle of friends know about it.

I guess in some ways I was too respectful and unquestioning to stop myself searching for God when in reality I didn't need to look for anything.
Comment by Angela Gorman on September 2, 2010 at 7:22pm
The catalyst for me was starting work in NICU.. 24yrs ago. I looked at the babies and thought there can't be anyone who could influence this situation. If there was then I couldn't do my job and remain a believer. I realised there wasn't anyone and that what happened was just bad luck. That's how I did my job for so long. I couldn't understand how parents thanked god when babies were born healthy (indicating to them, god's responsibility for that healthy child) yet they were not allowed to blame god when things went wrong..sorry but god can't take the praise for success, but opt out when things go wrong!
Comment by Angela Gorman on September 2, 2010 at 7:16pm
Hi everyone.. I was brought up in a large strict RC family with a large extended family. Two 1st cousins were priests, another a nun. My sister is Head of RE at a very expensive catholic public boarding school near London. She can't comprehend how I survive without the church. My sister-in-law realised I wasn't joining in with the prayers or hymns at my cousin's funeral and told me she felt sorry for me! I told her not to waste her sympathy on me but to direct it towards someone who needed it! One of my 2nd cousins was drowned in the Asian Tsunami on 26th Dec 2004. He was on Kau Lak Beach with his girlfriend who also drowned. His body was identified at easter and Debbie in July! There was a service for him and I went. I sat and shook my head at the c..p I was hearing about why god wanted him at the age of 30yrs...
Comment by Brad White on May 23, 2010 at 6:38pm
Mr Good without God... I'd be happy to be your friend on FB. I'll accept you as you are, even if I don't get the same in return. (hope I do :-). If any of your Christian FB friends drop you when you come out, please direct them to my website so they can learn to LIVE their faith. Or before they drop you, encourage them to visit my site BEFORE they drop you. (
Comment by QM on March 21, 2010 at 12:26am
Joann, first of all thanks for your encouraging words and the compliment (yes, English is my second language. Where I come from decent education is a luxury which fortunately my folks were able to afford for us :-))

I have read your story and it is very inspiring and moving. I admire your strength and I know that it took an enormous amount of courage on your part to go through what you did. Thank you for sharing such an amazing story!

Very often I just feel sick and tired of being in the closet. I feel nauseated by my own silence at times, especially when I hear of suicide bombing in my country carried out by a zealot belonging to my ex-religion. I know that the only way to stop such barbaric acts is to educate people about how retarded this belief system is. I want to tell them that there are no 70 women waiting for them in heaven. That there is no 'all mighty master' smiling at them.

But I don't, out of fear. But sooner or later this silence has to be broken.

Thanks again for your warm welcome here. I know I have come to the right place with the right kind of people.. :-)
Comment by Joann Brady on March 19, 2010 at 11:50am
QM, I admire your strength and don't blame you a bit for staying "in the closet" I bet you wish you could immigrate to a more tolerant part of the world.
here in America I feel it is my personal mission to evcourage athiests to come out of the closet, because I firmly believe there are a LOT more of us than any one thinks. I am not even sure how to accomplish this.
By the way, I am guessing that English is a second language for you, and if so I would like to compliment your mastery of it. There are plenty of native speakers who do not have the mastery that you do.
So welcome to the group, I hope you are able to find comfort here. My story is further down the post ( I believe I posted it last June) if you care to read it.
Again..............welcome. You are among friends.
there used to be an Irish Pub in the neighborhood, and they had a sign behind the bar that is appropriate here. It said " There are no strangers here, Only friends we haven't met"

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