I was raised Mormon right in the heart of Mormondom--Utah. I knew know different. I assumed everyone was Mormon and if not, why would they not want to be? I grew up believing that Joseph Smith was a prophet that restored Christ's church back to the Earth, that he saw God and Jesus personally as two separate beings, that he literally translated golden plates by the power of god into the Book of Mormon of the ancient inhabitants of North and South America, that Mormons have the only authority to act in God's name so all the other churches on the Earth were lacking God's stamp of approval...so one could only be saved if they were Mormon...this was just apart of my upbringing. All of my family and friends were Mormon...I saw the whole world through these eyes. Oh, and let's not forget that God resides on a planet named Kolob somewhere in the Universe and that if we're worthy enough we can become gods like Jesus and Heavenly Father and have our own planets to populate...so I would be barefoot and pregnant for eternity and raising spirit babies while my husband is soooo busy getting it on with all of his other wives...you know we have worlds to populate with billions and billions of spirit kids!

I didn't really start to question until I went through the Mormon temple for the first time (they do certain Masonic-like rituals that somehow lead us to god???). This was necessary so I could go on a mission for my church. They want us to be indoctrinated and brainwashed enough while on the mission so we don't question too much...we got to wear the holy underwear. But it was here where I was horrified. There are parts where I had to veil my face since I don't hold "the priesthood" as a woman...and where I covenant to "hearken" to my husband as he hearkens unto god...yup obey in a more euphemistic overtone. This really got me thinking about why my Mormon God was such an asshole to women. But I put this all on my shelf since I was heading out to convert the world to Mormonism soon....

Well, the Mormon mission experience, for me, was horrible. It's really about deprivation and brainwashing the missionaries. I was depressed for 17 months and was abused spiritually and emotionally while there. Basically, it took a few years after I returned home, but I started to really look into Mormon history and what I found was very disturbing. (I really started to question and look when I became pregnant with my son and started to wonder if I really wanted to raise him Mormon). Nothing I was taught was true. Joseph Smith was a fraud. Then I started to look at Christianity and read a ton of stuff and realized that wasn't what it claimed to be either. Then I discovered Dawkins, Hitchens, and podcasts and blogs and a whole new world was opened up to me. I realized I could be a great person without a sexist and racist god looking down on me all the time. That I could still lead a life without something up in the cosmos judging me, and realized my son will be some much healthier emotionally without dogma shoved down his throat. So yeah! To be able to think without fear is an absolutely amazing feeling! Love this site so much!

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Congrats, Heather! I love reading these deconversion stories. They make me feel so hopeful. I was once an "on fire" Christian myself, but I "saw the light" of reason and I would never, ever go back into that stifling atmosphere of half-truths and outright lies! :)
Great story. Welcome and feel free to add to any discussion. We look forward to your contributions.
Yes I agree. The site is liberating, therapeutic.. just fantastic. I was driving to meet our future daughter-in-law earlier today helping with the arrangements for their wedding. I passed the local Mormon church and the car park was full to brimming over. Even though I was on my own in the car, I was quietly shouting at this pristigne building as I recalled seeing an equally sparkling building in Liberia in 2008, right next to a hospital for sick children, run by MSF (Medicin Sans Frontier) I'm sure you've heard of it... it's a charity which sets up temporary hospitals in disaster areas. MSF should have moved out of Liberia after the war ended in 2005 but there was nowhere for the children to be looked after. These obviously very sick babies & older kids were being cared for in a tent, having IVs sited, received oxygen of sorts, it was horrendous. The main hospital building had three kids to a bed... an absolute nightmare. The Mormon church looked as though it was painted on a weekly basis. I was appalled.. almost cried that so much was spent on worshipping a mythical being who does nothing for anyone, when these precious children were being treated, cared for and probably dying in the most difficult possible environment. Where was their god? I feel so angry.
Yup, I completely agree. They put up their temples all over the world and they are worth millions and yet provide hardly any actually humanitarian aid. Their only goal is to get people to pay them money in tithing and that's it. I have a friend who went on a Mormon mission to South Africa and tried to get the church to do something to help out the people in need there, but to no avail...they only wanted their money when they had none to give...one of the many things that got her out of the Mormon church as well. It's just horrifying.


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