I have always been a person that has always asked questions. To many questions according to my parents. I never really got religion. I never really understood what Christmas was all about. And what the songs were all about... I seriously had no idea what it was. I thought it was just a thing everyone did. Then when I got older I finally started to do research into science and truly understanding/reacting/evolving into a better human being.
I found out that you can do good in the world just because you want to! Not because some crazy dude in the sky is always looking at what you do at every single moment. I totally reject that! Checking up on you to see if your sinning... What kind of crazy way of life is that to live??? It is very mind numbing to even think that so many people in the world truly believe in some magical man in the skies. (IMO the whole bible when it refers to god is really the SUN) (like the sun that comes into our windows every day when we wake up) Simple as that.
I am just tired of having that feeling of being alone. As in being the only atheist in my social network. I need to break out of my circle and hopefully this place will give me some new direction.
I was struck by your last statement that you felt alone (at least back then when you wrote this). What part of the US are you from? I'm from the Philippines. I've been an atheist for a long time... about 10 years now. And I can relate to that. (i was even lucky in that my wife and I were kinda struggling along the same direction for a while before we both came to the inevitable conclusions.)
But outside of the two of us, that was pretty much it. We only found a group of younger, emerging atheists on the web, well they call them themselves freethinkers, and they aren't all atheists... some are agnostics, and others have formulated their own views about some form of divinity or other.
But then again we're in the Philippines where 87% of the population is RC and the rest are Evangelical Christian or Moslem. Not many atheists to speak of yet, though there is a growing number-- even among my kids' friends. Atheists must comprise less that .000001% and you could add in more zeros i'm sure. In the US, however, about 12% of the population is atheist. I wonder how many agnostics there are on top of that. Are they mostly along the East and West Coasts?
How is it for you now? Have you found any friends who share your mindset? (I mean beyond the web?)
Christy, as a former atheist, I agree that you should ask questions. It was asking questions that led me away from God, and it was asking questions that led me back to God. I'd love to hear more of your story.