Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Moria Jackson on December 29, 2010 at 1:11am

Sorry if everyone else already knows this.... but how long ago did you lose the religion?  I get the idea its a fairly recent thing.  I don't see any problems with the 4 year old if you just stop doing the things, like bedtime prayers.  The 7 year old might require a bit of an explanation.  My daughter (6 yrs old) knows that different people believe different things.  I told her I don't believe the same thing thing her grandparents do.  She does not believe in god, but my son (5 yrs old) does.  I have not had a religion since I was 10, so I really have no advise on how to stop practicing one, but it seems easiest to just STOP and tell your daughter you were wrong and this is what you think and why.

Permalink Reply by Joli on December 29, 2010 at 10:56pm

I "switched sides" at the beginning of November (very recent I know! LOL) The thing is is that up until that very moment we were VERY religious (I always had my doubts but did not let up on the indoctrination of my kids at all). My mother in law has always been a big part of our lives and has indoctrinated my kids in her own (but same) way as well. So they still have strong christian influence through her. In another thread (I think) I stated how she still talks to me and acts towards me like I am a christian (happened today as a matter of fact) (I guess it's hard for me to hurt peoples feelings which I'm trying very hard to get over lol) but as far as getting away goes I let my kids see me watch things on evolution and such and I'm slowly trying to break theist habits with them (and myself). I have thought of just telling them I was wrong, but I do feel it would devastate them since it has been a big part of their lives. Thank you so much for responding Moria :)

Permalink Reply by Wayne on December 29, 2010 at 2:16am

I'm not expert, but your girl's eight years old. Many children, as children, take fairy tales as reality, but then, after some time, see that they're just that, fairy tales. Why don't you just treat religion as that, a fairy tale, and when she gets old enough to stop believing in Santa -if she does-, the same will happen with religion, mainly the Christian doctrine, after all, the concepts are quite similar, a magical man who gives you something special if you're good and gives you something bad if you're, well, bad. Good luck!

Permalink Reply by Joli on December 29, 2010 at 10:58pm

Thanks for responding wayne :)

 

I am very much so considering this as an option. I think it would be the best time to do it, it's really all a matter of convincing my husband as well.

Permalink Reply by Janelle Campbell on December 29, 2010 at 8:35pm

I always told my daughter that Santa was "just for fun", even as a Christian so she could separate myths from truth ironically huh?..lol...  Anyhow, it was about when my oldest was 8 (she's now 10) that I just sat her down and told her that I was an atheist.  I explained to her what atheism and agnosticism were.  I also told her that I would support her going to church if she wished to continue going by driving her there and picking her up or asking her Grandmother to take her.  To my amazement she told me she did not believe in hell, and thought it was wrong.  She also said she talked to some kids at school that told her the world was going to end in 2012, she apparently told them that she didn't believe it would happen.  She said that she felt the same way about hell, she figured it was just a story.   She told me that she thought she might be agnostic, but that she thought there may be a god.  I can't believe the introspection she made!  I don't hesitate from having difficult conversations with her anymore, I am tactful and consider her age but she has a moral compass and I'm proud as heck. 

Permalink Reply by Joli on December 29, 2010 at 11:02pm

wow you should be very proud! I would be as well! I think the way you did this was great! however I can't see my daughter reacting in the same way lol. My son who is oldest and almost 9 I think he would totally get it but then I would have to worry with what and the way he told my younger ones. I don't know why, but I am very fearful of this situation (meaning telling them in a more or less blunt way). Thank you also for responding :)

Permalink Reply by Janelle Campbell on December 30, 2010 at 10:21am

I have a 3 year old daughter too, let us know how you end up handling it with the younger one.  I'm wondering how to have the discussion with her when it comes up.  I have had meddling family members as well. One time my husband's grandmother grabbed her by the shoulders and said "Did you know Jesus was your father in heaven and he loves you very much?", she looked at g-grandma and said "No, daddy is my dad and he's at work."  She's been raised for the most part in a secular home, my 10 year old was raised in the church and baptised at the age of 7.

Your husband's response was pretty funny, I understand being defensive and angry when other people fill your kid's heads with such silly fears.  I guess there's no simple way to go about it and you need to base it on what they are ready for emotionally.  Good luck :)