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Started by Martin G. Grover III Jun 2, 2010.
Little Zachary -------------------------
Little Zachary was doing poorly in math. His parents, after exhausting all other incentives, finally decided to enroll him in the local Catholic School. After the first day, Little Zachary came home with a very serious look on his face. He went straight to his room and started studying. This continued for some time. His mother was baffled as to why he had become so dedicated.
Finally, Little Zachary brought home his report card. He quietly laid it on the table and went to his room to study. With great trepidation, his mother looked at it and, to her surprise, Little Zachary go an "A" in math. She asked, "Son, what was it? Was it the nuns, the books, the discipline, the uniforms?"
Little Zachary said, "No!"
"What was it?" she asked.
Little Zachary looked at her and said, "Well, on the first day of school, when I saw that guy nailed to the Plus Sign, I knew they weren't fooling around."
------------------------- The Email
One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally behavior that was going on. So he called one of His angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time.
When he returned, he told God, 'Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not.
God thought for a moment and said, 'Maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another opinion.'
So God called another angel and sent him to Earth for a time.
When the angel returned he went to God and said, 'Yes, it's true.The Earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5% are being good.'
God was not pleased. So He decided to e-mail the 5% that were good, because he wanted to encourage them, and give them a little something to help them keep going.
Do you know what the e-mail said?
Okay, I was just wondering, because I didn't get one either.
JadeBlackOlive I wonder how father Duffy new about all those loose woman.
Eric went to confession on Saturday and he told Father Duffy that he had an affair with a married women from the parish. Father Duffy asked Eric who she was and Eric said, "Father, I can't tell you." Father said, "If you don't tell me I cant give you absolution." Eric again said, "I know Father, but I just can't tell you." Father Duffy then asked, "Was it Mrs. Murphy?" "No, Father." "Was it Mrs. O'Malley?" "No, Father." "Was it Mrs. O'Brian?" "No, Father. I just cannot tell you who it was." Father Duffy tells Eric to go out and think about it and then come back when ready to confess who it was. Eric leaves the church and runs into his friend Jim. Jim asks, "Did you tell him you had the affair?" "Yes. He wanted to know who it was, but I wouldn't tell him." "What did he say? Did he give you absolution?" "Oh no, but he did give me three new possibilities........"
A teacher asks her students what religious objects they have in their homes. One boy answers, "We have a picture of a woman with a halo holding a baby and every day my mother kneels in front of it." The next little boy says, "We have a brass statue of a man seated with crossed legs and a Chinese face, and every day my parents burn an incense stick before it." Then a third boy pipes up, "In the bathroom we have a flat, square box with numbers on it. Every day my mother stands on it first thing in the morning and screams, 'OH MY GOD!!!'"
Ok, but about i-anything.....I know nossink..............
But Cortana has the sexiest voice
Its all iPhone to me.....hahaha.....
Don't trust Siri, Cortana is my girl ;-)
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