This short story is 12 pages long and I know that it has some errors in it. Don't worry, I've gone back and changed some of the errors but unfortunately I turned in the paper to my English Teacher while it was more erroneous. I apologize for the errors, but please feel free to read this. You can find my story at the bottom where the attachments are.

I'd also appreciate any feedback whether you liked it or hated it or anything about the structure that is completely wrong. (Please note that I'm an amateur because this is my first short story I've ever written.)

Thanks for reading! :)

Edit:

A little background - Just to let ya'll know, this story has nothing to do with sex or romance, but just happens to deal with someone who is gay. Much of this story is influenced by my personal experiences but HIGHLY exaggerated. The main character, Sora, is based off of how I perceive myself as being feminine. I wish I had the looks as I gave him but unfortunately, I look like a regular guy. The story is just a representation of the mental and emotional pain I feel that seems unending while hoping that, in the end, it's a well worth it.

 

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Just tell me whatever you want about it. ^.^

Thanks for reading my story and the constructive criticism. :)

I felt exactly the same way when you said " It's as if you laid some very nice ingredients in front of me, but stopped there instead of mixing them together and baking them into a cake -- a finished product." I feel like I spent way too much time trying to explain what was going on through actual dialogue. I guess it isn't bad for my very first short story but I think there was a lot of potential that didn't quite make it in there.

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