Confused - Who's what, how do you tell, and how can you tell if your crush likes a diff. gender?


Probably one of the most awkward and confusing things I've experienced on and off the internet, is trying to figure out [in the dating world] who's what [homosexual, bi, strait, asexual, ex.] and whether or not I should approach someone I'm interested in and ask them out when I'm not sure of their sexual prefrence and suspect they may not be interest.

How do you tell? Or is there even a way? :?

I remember one specific example where I screwed up, badly.

[I'm "questioning" and probably "bi" - but I don't know yet.]

I "fell for" a guy in high school who was extremely nice, funny, and intelligent. I tried to "make a move" to let him know how I felt. [I had a good reason to believe that this was safe, as he had had "girl friends," although, looking back, I never saw him make physical contact with his "girlfriends." - Which I didn't notice at the time.


So I tried to make a move, and scared him away, BIG TIME.

At the time I felt hurt and confuse... wondering why he was avoiding me and ran off whenever I tried to talk [even as a friend].


It wasn't until 4 years later, that I learned the reason why...

He "came out" gay on facebook.... wow I felt dumb. I was thinking, How the HELL did I miss that?!


Granted, my mistake RUINED our relationship as good friends. He hasn't contacted me since.


Confusion probably defines my position... unsure of what to do and afraid to ask when I'm interested in someone....


Help? Please.

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Replies to This Discussion

Thanks Desota. ^_^
You talked about dating those girls because you were afraid of what others would think. Now that I look back on it... that's probably what the guy I was interested in in high school was doing. He never did anything "physical" or "romantic" toward these girl.... he just told everyone "this is my girlfriend."
I was naive at the time. Having been brought up in a "rather conservative Xtian" household, my parents held all "sexual" issues from me, not just gays. I had to find a lot of stuff out on my own. It wasn't until my eigth grade year that I even DISCOVERED the existance of gays, lesbians, and bisexuals. And that was because my friend came out to me as "bisexual" when we were hanging out. My response stunned her for a second, and then... well I have never heard her laugh so hard. [She often tells me I'm one of the most innocent ppl she knows.] - Anyhow my response to her telling me she was bisexual was "what's that?" At first she thought I was making fun of her, but when she saw I was serious, she started cracking up.

Anyhow... unfortunately, it was less than a year later that I fell for "T" [not going to use his real name] - so I was LITERALLY unable to see the signs of his sexual orientation due to my own ignorance of the whole topic.
Is it more desirable to be rejected by someone because of looks, personality , nationality, race, age or your gender?


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