Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Dave on January 28, 2009 at 12:40am

I'm married now, for the second time. The first wedding (when i was WAY too young) was religious with the pre and post counseling, etc., the whole package. That church ended up being a large part of what made me ultimately accept that i was atheist, but that's another story. The second wedding to my current (and wonderful) wife was just two+ years ago in Hawaii, and I made sure to request a non-religious ceremony. I swear i heard the hawaiian dude mention God once or twice before blowing in the shell, but at least it was non-dogmatic, so i still paid the man.

In all honesty, I think that once you remove the religious aspect from marriage, there's not a valid reason it should exist. It's a union ordained by God and government, neither of which i feel should have a place in my relationship. Most people (including myself and my wife) give in and do it anyway just to enjoy the benefits that our bible wielding government officials have instilled over the last decade. Geez, now that you made me say it, i feel kinda like a sellout....thanks a lot!! ;)

Permalink Reply by Samantha on January 28, 2009 at 12:45am

Want to be someday. Looking grim. (31...)
I just like the romance of it all.

Permalink Reply by AshleyNP on January 29, 2009 at 10:35pm

I agree with Samantha, woman love the romance of it, we love to be the center of attention, and we love an excuse to dress up. Oh, and of course, the love is good to. (just kidding)

Permalink Reply by Ali C on December 3, 2009 at 6:29pm

Yeah, pretty much. If I ever manage to get married, it'll be a gigantic party with me in a pretty dress (not neccessarily white) where we can have fun and enjoy the day. I think part of the problem with marriage these days is that, for women, the entire thing is about being a bride. Nobody gives any thought to learning how to be a wife (or husband)!

Permalink Reply by davesnothome on January 29, 2009 at 1:50pm

Being older than most of you, I've had time to mess up more. I've been married 3 times and I really thought the third time was going to be for good. Not. I tried though. The first one was very religious, both our dads were pastors so they took turns channeling the Lord into our ceremony, insuring the eternal bliss and spirit factor. However, that was a point in time when I begin asking more questions than there were answers. Plop. Questions don't work in a Christian marriage. Anyway, today I'm in a daily committed relationship and it has more significance than any religious union possibly could. Like Dave says in his comment, marriage is tool of the government and we're lured into it with tax discounts and medical benefits. How wrong is that? Fuck them, I'm in love for life and I don't need tax credits to prove it.

Permalink Reply by Cara Coleen on February 13, 2009 at 10:32pm

Awww that's so awesome to stumble across, read, and then discover it's my dad who wrote it!!! Ha ha. *yes, other readers, this is my dad and I'm proud to call him mine!!

Permalink Reply by Cara Coleen on February 13, 2009 at 10:37pm

Hmmm...
This is hard because it's something I'm still mulling over. My opinion is that it's worthless. If you're committed, you're committed. The legal document doesn't make either party more willing to be faithful but more careful about not getting caught if they decide to cheat. In a way, it prolongs the inevitable (if the relationship is going to end at all).

I guess I have this personality fluke that makes me freak out when I feel fenced-in. I've dated a lot in my life but have yet to have a serious relationship. It's going to be a hard adjustment for me, but then to have someone tell me I'm stuck for life would be a deal breaker. The fact is, I'd be much more at ease and willing to stay if I didn't feel the pressure of "'til death do us part"... even if it is ultimately the thing that parts us.

Anyway... yeah... marriage is an institution of those who are religious. Now, let's see how my mom freaks out when I tell her I'm not into it.

Permalink Reply by baddy on April 13, 2009 at 1:53pm

Agreed.

Permalink Reply by Jessica Renee on February 26, 2009 at 7:02am

I got married back in 2005 and that was my wedding cake with a heartagram. our wedding was more for immigration purposes then any other but later i found out that i could have gotten a civil union instead but the paper didn't matter so much. it was more like we wanted to world to see us as serious couple who wanted to spend forever together... at that time in our lives i would say we didn't think of our selves as atheists but we knew were were not religious. we wrote our own vows and made sure god stayed out of it. lol and to think that when we met we were still open to religion.

Permalink Reply by loop the loop on March 3, 2009 at 7:23am

I want to get married to my current partner - we want a civil union but won't give up the opportunity to invite our family and friends and have a party ;-) Probably will go with the whole wedding cake glitz and stuff...Since I'm British and my partner is Australian, we plan on having one civvie in Australia and one in Britain...:-D

Gosh, all this worked out and we aren't even engaged yet. I bet he's going to be afraid when he reads all of this =]

Permalink Reply by Rayven on April 11, 2009 at 4:19am

I'm married, have been for five years now. We were married at the courthouse in jeans and a tshirt. The judge did read a bible passage and prayed before he started the actually vows and such. I think my husband (who has been a non-believer since he was about 10) said ok to the reading because he didn't want to upset his mother who was there and partly because he didn't really care. I was still very much on the fence about the whole god thing, it was mostly just fear that they program in you when you're young, so I didn't care if the judge read it or not either. We had the chance to get married at his mother's church, but wouldn't do it or the counsling they offered. I'm glad we didn't do it. Our marriage hasn't been perfect but its been honest, something I can't say I've seen in god focused marriages. Looking back do I regret letting the judge read the bible and pray, no not really, because we just didn't care we were interested in the piece of paper, everything else was just part of the show. I would have liked to of had a nice dress and cake though LOL.

Permalink Reply by Jenn T-R on April 12, 2009 at 5:55pm

I am married for the second time. Both times I married men who didn't care for religion but in my first weeding we allowed a little in the actual ceremony for his parents' sake. That marriage ending is another story for another time. My current husband and I got married and had only one quote from the bible in our ceremony because we thought it was pretty. Both times the service was performed by a justice of the peace.

As far a the institution of marriage, I have to say that it doesn't really bother me. Unfortunately we live in a world where other married folks don't really see you as a "real" couple until you are officially married. Not that I care but it helps with my "I'm an adult" factor when I work with older, more "seasoned" individuals. And I just want to make sure there is absolutely no question that my husband will receive all the benefits he has coming to him should something happen to me. I really think that marriage is less about god or religion and more about a legal commitment. Whether you are for or against government having anything to do with your relationship means very little since the government will. I have seen too many instances of people getting screwed by other family members in the case of someone's death. I want my husband taken care of (and he wants me taken care of) should something happen to me and being legally married helps take care of that.

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