Listen up. I have a bone to pick. We are an under represented population. (Women who are also Atheists that is.) In school we are taught to be nice and lady-like. (I know this is a generalization, but just roll with me here...) In the church, which we have now left, we are taught to submit to our husbands and keep silent. Once an Atheist...NOW WHAT? How do we break free from the constraints that religion has placed upon us? How do we remain feminine, beautiful, and yet be strong and forthcoming about our beliefs and why we hold them? I'm hoping to create some discussion around what it means to be Atheist for us ladies.
Ladies, what have been your experiences having left a male dominated religion and venturing into a belief system which truly defines us as equals when it comes to all human rights?
Do any of you still struggle with aftermath of religious thinking about yourself or your role as a wife/mother, etc?
Men: Feel free to chip in with your insights as well. This isn't battle of the sexes so I don't want to hear anything about that. Your insights are valuable to the discussion. Thanks!
That's a pretty nice list Simon. I dig it!!! Is that in any particular order? lol....just teasing ;)
It is an interesting list... It seems to cover fantasy feminine qualities (nurturing and transgressive), and not much else. I notice that it doesn't include any intellectual qualities (rational, brilliant, intellectual, smart, logical) or practical qualities (smart, handy, capable, savvy...) or self-sufficient qualities (independent, assured, determined, skillful...), or creative qualities. Definitely interesting. She's always a woman to meeee....
This is all taken from women I know. They all have the qualities you mention too, so those should be in there as well. For some reason, I thought 12 would be a good number.
Still, you did choose those twelve over their other qualities.
Kairan, I agree with your implication that my list is not an adequate description of an "alpha female". This is probably because I just rattled it off without thinking. Opinions are always going to vary, I should think, especially if some of them come from men.
The terms "alpha female" is misleading too, since I'm using it in a different sense to the standard one. Usually it means "top of the hierarchy", "the leader", "number one", "first". To me, it just means "first class".
A better term would be "real lady", which is what I always used before I read Midori Lei's article about the alpha male. What she really means is "real man". To me, Midori is an important thinker. She's a conservative Christian, and I'm an anarchist atheist, but we can find common ground and learn from each other.
I had a good think about all the women I know who I would consider to fall into this category, and tried to see what they have in common. This is my best effort.
"balls" + humility + a good heart + integrity = beauty
"balls" + humility + a good heart + integrity + experience = wisdom
Not everybody is born with above-average intelligence, and frankly I think it's over-rated as a quality. It is completely distinct from wisdom, and "clever" people are often the stupidest in my experience.
Therefore, subtracting line 2 from line 1, we have:
experience = wisdom - beauty
(experience is wisdom without beauty)
experience - wisdom = - beauty
(experience without wisdom is ugliness)
wisdom - experience = beauty
(wisdom without experience is beauty)
Oooh, excellent point llse! I didn't even pick up on that until you pointed it out. Simon I think you need to re-do the list, lol!!!
Why not let's re-do the list?
Let's start with the designations: What does "alpha female" even mean? Is that something we want to aspire to?
For me personally, in theory I might but in reality I don't...If that makes sense. The concept of an Alpha is a leader. While I am capable of doing so, I do not like or want the responsibility. Nor do I want to be a follower. I'm more of a loner. I think this woman is an excellent example of an Alpha female.
I love this quote from the wiki: " She said that if women were to be responsible for cleaning up their communities and making them better places to live, they needed the vote to be effective in doing so."
Thank you for introducing me to Jane Addams.
I don't think Alpha has to mean "leader" at all. It just means someone who's strong and in control. Those people tend to be naturally magnetic and people want to follow them, but they don't seek to be in charge. I think they would welcome equal help from equals too, since they are happy about sharing the power (as in, effectiveness/realism/good humour/coping skills). It's just that there tends to be a shortage of other people who step up.
She sounds cool. I wouldn't like to get on the wrong side of her. How about Calamity Jane? I have a friend of this name (aka. The Iron Lady) and I share CJ's birthday.