I still have a hard time breaking free of the things that I was taught to believe were wrong. I have been in the same relationship with the same amazing person for five years...and we still have issues with intimacy because of the way I was raised. It's sad, and I'm working on it...but I sometimes think that it will take going to a therapist to undo the damage done to my head because of the church. I wholeheartedly believed in every bit of it. It was the main building block of my identity until I was in my mid twenties. It's amazing how much can change in a few years time...
I never bought the whole package and still don't. There are too many questions and not enough answers. What I have learned from the SBC is that they demand (especially today) absolute adherence to doctrinal statements that are not absolute. No one is allowed to ask questions about it, and if you do, you are labeled a trouble maker and swiftly "dealt with." The SBC prides itself on being the largest protestant denomination in the world, yet they are puzzled and panicking over the fact that their numbers are dropping. They're response to the problem of dropping membership is to become more hard-lined in their stance and fight a "culture war" that doesn't exist. The reason for a drop in membership (as it is throughout all western nations and denominations) is do to the fact that many people cannot and do not trust the institution of the church as a whole - theist or atheist - and such people's suspicions of the church are well founded. Anyone who accepts the whole package, nicely gift-wrapped in the emperor's clothes of simplicity, is blind. Sorry for the rabbit trail.
I did buy it. I even went on mission trips and was a junior staffer at a church camp. I always led prayer in youth group and volunteered every summer at VBS. It wasn't until I was 19 that I actually started questioning things. Then I just realized that none of it made sense and that religion basically does nothing but give people an excuse to make their pointless lives have meaning while, at the same time, allowing them to judge others for simply thinking differently. Once I started questioning religion, I felt like a horrible person and was terrified. However, once I accepted atheism, I realized that there was no point in being terrified of a God that doesn't exist. Southern Baptist churches are really good at trying to force that God-fearing nature into your brain. I'm just glad I found reason and logic. Now I just regret helping to indoctrinate all those children during my years as a Christian. I honestly feel that the way the church indoctrinates children is harmful and wrong.