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Comment by Erika Cook on February 14, 2010 at 12:31pm

I don't really have "friends" either. It's odd, because I am very extroverted; I'm "the funny one", I do anything for others to like me; I'm helpful. I work as a Kindergarten teacher and am the Secretary of the teacher's association. I'm very intelligent and am good at problem solving. Of course I don't actually believe this crap about me, but that's what my husband tells me. Anyway, I do enjoy talking with people,and in my job I have lots of opportunities to do it. I was once told by a "friend" that when she first met me, at a community meeting, she was very intimidated by me because I was so straight forward and unguarded. I try very hard to not be intimidating now...a little more "gentle". Doesn't seem to make a difference; it's like I'm viewed at the "Mom"...great to come to for advice and assistance, but you don't want to go out on weekends with her....

Comment by Fancy Nancy on February 12, 2010 at 4:57am

Hello Erika - Cook by name cook by nature! That Thai curry dish sounds great ... but pine nuts? Well if it tastes good, do it, eh! Speaking of which - any chance of the recipe? My 'signature dish' prolly sounds quite plain but as my dh is a big foodie can i use him as a reference? It's good ol english fish pie ... little tip with the cheese sauce - don't bother with making a roux, just poach the fish till just cooked in a big frying pan half milk, half water, a bit of salt and maybe add peppercorns, a sliver of lemon rind and a bay leaf or what you will ... strain off and keep liquid - cover fish to keep warm whilst you make the sauce with about half the milky liquid - add a tablespoon of flour and ditto butter and whisk till it boils, then keep simmering whilst you add handful of strong cheese - cheddar is good with a little Parmesan if you have some ... about a third tsp of english mustard and pinch cayenne pepper or hot paprika, salt and white pepper to taste ... whilst you've been doing that you've boiled the potatoes and some frozen peas and diced carrots - add latter to fish when cooked btw. Mash the spuds (do you call potatoes spuds in USA?) ...with some butter and or milk. Put mash round dish and flake fish n veg into the cheesey sauce - carefully or will turn to mush. Carefully transfer fish mix into middle of casserole dish - hope this is making sense - grate some more cheese over the top of the fish bit - grill till bubbling and golder. Serve and enjoy!

Oh, the depression bit ... well above will assist but maybe a bit too much when you're feeling low ... it also uses a lot of pans so you'll end up with a dirty kitchen! Those days, I open a tin of soup and eat with crusty bread... hmm your serious questions: anxiety and depression - had that all my life I think ... why? Brought up by neurotic parents plus lots of mental 'strife' on Mum's side of family ... sadly all Dad's family gone cos of war ... yes, I do get understanding but it took a long time ... funnily or not so funnily enuf, my cousin got very depressed, with 2 young children and a very un-understanding husband ... her Mum has had 3 breakdowns but her reaction to my cousin was also very un-understanding and she got very offended when her sister, my Mum, drew attention to it! Oh people, aren't they the worst ...

All for now - it's great having a Californian friend Erika - I don't have real friends but I am married ... he can be my best and my worst friend but I'm planning on making at least 2 friends in the real world this year - a bit difficult cos of my unemployed status but I'm quietly confident ;)

Hope to hear from you again soon ...

Comment by Erika Cook on February 11, 2010 at 11:45pm

1/2 a Lexapro and a Welbutrin in morning whole Lexapro in evening and Clonazipam at night (along with eating Salmon, taking vitamin D, SamE, eating bananas and mandarins). I also go to talk therapy every couple of weeks and take my dogs for 45 minute walks every evening. Deep Breaths!

I enjoy making a Thai curry dish (coconut milk, curry paste, fish sauce, lime, cilantro, pine nuts, shallots...as a base and then variations based on different kinds of meat, or veggies...I really like it with yams and asparagus with pork and cilantro). I could live on just that! As long as I can make variations...eggplant is great in it, or long green beans.....

How about you? And, is your diagnosis something that you've had in your family? Did they talk about it...or if they hadn't had it, do they now seem to understand your diagnosis?

Comment by Fancy Nancy on February 9, 2010 at 9:48am

Erika ... i think maybe you should be kinder to your bum after all it does for you .... mine is quite ample n dimply btw and my dh appreciates it like that - it's also my best friend if i fall on it or have to sit for long periods .... Ok, enuf about my bum! Re lightbox, I live in uk ...it seems to work and my doc told me a couple of years ago that he always gets more depressed people around October ... best lightbox is going outside especially if it's sunny ... sun's out behind the clouds atm and makes me feel sunny too. No chance of sun all the time so it's more of a thrill this time of year, I agree ... although being depressed when it's hot in the summer can be a worse feeling than when it's raining .... sorta 'how DARE it be sunny and ppl laughing when i feel so darn BAD!!!' Are you on meds and/on do any therapy? Also, just for distraction - do you cook and if so, what's your 'signature dish' ?

Comment by Erika Cook on February 9, 2010 at 9:05am

It's been a while since any of us have commented on here...it all kind of stopped around the holidays...go figure! I survived the season and am happy to talk with you Fancy; we don't actually have to talk about your terrific bum though, do we? Mine has seen much better days and I don't need any more reasons to be depressed:)
Does the lightbox work well? Do you live in an area with not much sun? I'm in California, where we have actually been getting some long periods of either rain or clouds and I'm thrilled! I get so tired of the "sunny" forcast!

Comment by Fancy Nancy on February 8, 2010 at 11:42am

Hello ... i tackle depression by lightbox, meds (venlafaxine, been taking it for 12 years), cbt (structured commonsense imo), chatting on internet (but have temporarily been booted from my usual site for mentioning my bum (it is one of my plus points) and exercise ... new: reducing booze. Only drink Saturday nights and celebrations now ... anyone want to talk to me????

Comment by David Miller on December 22, 2009 at 1:20pm

International House of Pancakes makes much more sense than International House of Waffers, Wine, and Guilt. Pancakes are worthy of having their own international house. ;)

Comment by Erika Cook on December 22, 2009 at 10:51am

Jay, you are so right! It's one of the most difficult things to explain to people who have never experienced it. In my case, some minor anxiety will happen (say...I forgot to buy the milk so I have to go back to the store) and, while the emotional "I" is not very upset by the whole thing, the physical "I" is going Ape Shit! So, I'm not actually anxious (or in other cases, depressed), but my body thinks I am and the chemicals are having my body react to an extreme....crying, upset stomach, dizzyness....

David, we probably have all felt like "weenies" or some similar degradation, or else we wouldn't be on here. You made me think, "I can identify in some way with everybody in this group; none of them are 'weenies'; maybe I'm not either...I'm part of an accepting group!" Thanks!

Joshua, If you look further back in the postings, you'll see that I also felt glad for the group but not well enough to write out my story. Try to remember how good you are capable of feeling and that that feeling will come back. Of course, when you're feeling good, you may not want to spend your time posting here. That's okay! Get what you need from us, and jump in when you feel like it. No judgement...I mean, it's not like you have to visit here every Sunday at 10:00, drink blood, eat crackers, confess depression, and then beat the Baptists to the IHOP!! (the IHOP thing's a wierdness from my childhood....well, actually, that whole last part is was)

Comment by Jay Catt on December 21, 2009 at 7:53pm

Its a brain thing.. its chemicals, its like the pancreas and diabeedeez ( I swear I have no idea how to spell ;o) besides, is that even the right organ?) ) Its connected to fight or flee.. STRESSSSSS!!!
daylight, diet.
thats how I see this.
Its your brain lying to you. Like LSD crosses the wires between senses so you hear colors and see music.. um, or so I heard.

Comment by David Miller on December 21, 2009 at 7:37pm

Good point and yes I suppose I am. Thanks Josh.

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