I am an artist. I have been one all my life. I am just recently starting to accept my Bipolar I Disorder diagnosis and yet the more I learn about it, the more I wonder how much do I really owe to this disorder as an artist.
I am off medication right now but just for another month. I know now that I need it and I am now willing to give it a try. But before I go back on the drugs I am desperate to find out if those times of extreme and fruitful inspiration where just hypo manic episodes. Even worst, I wonder if all along every time I felt inexplicably inspired I was just being manic instead of gifted.
I personally feel that being an artist defines who I am as a human being. It has determined my personality and my decisions in life greatly. Unfortunately much of my behavior in the last few years has been erratic, self destructive and unproductive. However when it came to art my moods and manic stages only fueled my artistic side. Sometimes I even wonder if it is worth finding out that all these hours I spent furiously creating pieces of art were just manic episodes.
Are there any artists or creative individuals that feel as if their creative process and their artistic drive was somehow the result of their bipolar disorder? Wouldn't this make Bipolar Disorders the artist's muse?
I suffer from a mental illness, such as yours and a artist, I am on medication which keeps me from harm. I too would stop taking my meds because I was feeling better. Yet the damage as a result out weighs the effects. When on meds the illness is still there I still if not more so can create more. My drive to create comes from a clear mind that is still creative.
I as an agnostic trust in sciences medical and mental health. Humanity has found ways of helping our minds. When I was a religious person I was always told to trust in god not in drugs, I trust medicine that is humanity evolving to treat flaws of our minds. Hope this helps you.
Sorry for the fragmentation of my writing or english errors I also deal with a learning disablity which causes my brain to skiip faster then my fingers.