As we are going down this horrible path and I am amazed at the way so many on the same path of dealing with cancer cling to their religion and hope for their magic man in the sky to save them.  I guess it is understandable since they are so desperate, and the reflexive reliance on myth and mystery is almost instinctual.

A brief update.  My wife was diagnosed with breast cancer 3 years ago, and found mets to bone about a year ago.  She was on hormone therapy for a year, but even though we expected it to last a couple of years it stopped working after only a year.  We then had to change treatments to an oral chem about 3 months ago.  Now at her most recent monthly treatment it seems that the oral chemo isn't working, her tumor markers were almost doubled.  Next week it is back to scans to see how bad it is.  There were 4 small lesions on her liver which spurred the change to chemo instead of hormone therapy.  Depending on what the scans show it is probably back to having another port installed and infusion chemo.  The fatigue, the nausea, hair loss. 

What is even worse is that it seems like we are much farther down the cancer road than I thought we were suppose to be after only 3 years.  When diagnosed as stage 4, bone mets we were assured that this is a chronic condition and there are people who live for 10 years with this.

I guess my point for pouring all this out here is my amazement at how the other cancer people I deal with can get so much comfort and reassurance from faith. 

I have doubted since I was a kid, and have been an active un-believer forever.  I know that the faithful will just call it anger at god, especially when I argue with them about it.  My questions though are if your god exists why would he give my wife cancer?  If he didn't give her cancer he is not curing it, again why?  When they offer prayers I want to tell them to ask their god what the ransom is for my wife's health.  How many prayers, how much reverence do we have to show him before he will deign to cure my wife.  Also if that is the case why would he take, in such a mean, painful, horrible way someone who is such a dedicated servant to his ego. 

I don't fight with them, if they are lucky or dumb enough to have faith as a crutch to get them through it then good for them.  I wish I had some external source of strength and support as I watch my wife die.

On a slightly, I hope, lighter note I would like to know how the others here are doing. There hasn't been much activity here lately.   A couple months ago there was some communication with Kat and Acacia.  If you see this and feel like it I would like to hear how your doing, how your holding.up.

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A neighbour I've been wanting to know was recently diagnosed with breast cancer, but caught early and a good prognosis.  She ran into some financial problems though and we finally went for coffee together and had a good talk.  We worked out a legal document for me to help her over this difficulty and she cried.  She's been praying for help.  I laughed saying an atheist appeared.

Good for you for helping, and being a nice enough neighbor and a good enough person to want to help.  All that without the threat of eternal damnation, what is wrong with you? (insert smiley emoticon here if I knew how).

It's hard, for me at least, to not throw their faith back at them and really challenge it.  I'm not that mean a person though.

One thing I would say is to be careful.  They thought they caught my wife's cancer early too.  Two very small, stage one, tumors.  One in each breast.  Turned out after surgery that one was stage 2 due to size, it was bigger than expected and just slightly made the stage 2 range.  The other was stage 2 because a closer exam on lymph nodes removed during mastectomy showed a tiny spec of cancer on one node.  We thought we were done with cancer after the mastectomy and chemo.  Funny, my concern then was that I don't really like fake boobs so I was dealing with the concept of my wife having fake boobs for the rest of her life.  Now she has no boobs, and won't ever have any, and who knows how much life is left.

Don't let her let the Docs assume that it was early and all is clear.  She will deal for the rest of her life with the worries that every ache, pain, cramp and bruise is her cancer coming back.  I would make sure she pushed her Doc to make sure it is really gone.  I suspect since my wife had it in both breasts that she was stage 4 from the start.  They never did any scans or anything to make sure it hadn't spread until her back pain was so bad a year after chemo that they took xrays and found the bone mets.


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