She touched you!? That would set me off more than anything. I'd lay my hand right back on her shoulder, and say, "Do you understand how inappropriate this is, strange woman with whom I am not acquainted?"
Watch it with that underwear stuff, they'll probably think you're coming on to them. ;-)
Keep a tongue in cheek business card on you. Hand it to them and walk off.
Dr So and so
Make Believe, USA
I have helped many with their delusions AND I CAN HELP YOU!!!!