Atheist Humor

A place for all things that might be funny to atheists or other non-theists.

Location: Funnybone Town
Members: 635
Latest Activity: Jan 7

Discussion Forum

Sometimes the humor takes care of itself.

Started by Carol Foley. Last reply by Belle Rose Jul 4, 2013. 14 Replies

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Comment by RobertPiano on December 16, 2012 at 6:05pm

So the Captain of the firing squad asks the condemned man, "care for a last smoke?.."

The prisoner replies, "No thanks, I'm trying to quit".

Comment by Hope on November 30, 2012 at 11:32pm

Comment by James Cox on October 28, 2012 at 4:04am

Todays funny sign:

Context Walmart front entry doors: 'Shoe Laces have been recalled, sorry for the inconvenience'

I was half expecting to be stopped by Walmart Security. Happily I was wearing shoes with velcro...;p)

Comment by Suzanne Olson-Hyde on October 7, 2012 at 2:35am

Zombie Jesus - He died for your sins - then he came back for your brains.

Comment by Suzanne Olson-Hyde on October 7, 2012 at 2:31am

Hello, young man. I'd like to speak to your parents about making Jesus Christ their personal Lord and Savior.

OK - but first I'm going to need some proof that you're really Christian.

Um. OK...

Mark 16:17 says: These signs will accompany those who believe...

In my name, they will drive out Demons, they will speak in tongues...

They will pick up snakes with their hands, and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all.  Unfortunately, we don't have any Demons or snakes in the I'll just go get some Drano and a mug for you...

Er..How about I just do the "Speaking in Tongues' one?

If you  still have a tongue after this, we'll move on to phase two. - Russell's Teapot

Comment by Bo Fowler on September 23, 2012 at 9:43am

Comment by Gina Weston on August 19, 2012 at 7:07pm

Comment by Chris Douglas on June 25, 2012 at 6:44pm

So my friend works at a liquor store (true story btw), and a jewish fella comes in and asks for credit on a bottle of booze because it was a saturday and he wasn't allowed to handle money. My friend says 'can't do it. This is a business. we don't give away booze in the hopes you'll pay us some day'. they go back and forth before the guy says, in a fit of rage, 'you have no respect for my god', to which my friend replied, 'hey, i'm not the one begging for a free pint of smirnoff on his holy day!'. Ha! I love that kid.

Comment by Skycomet the Fallen Angel on June 23, 2012 at 11:16am

How many creationists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?


Four. One to hold the bulb, Two to turn the ladder around, and One to tell us how God created light before the sun.

Comment by Chris Douglas on June 22, 2012 at 12:06pm

Hey guys, wheres all the "haha". hey, I got one...a dyslexic walks into a bra...wait, does it have to be an atheist joke. honk honk



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Discussion Forum

Sometimes the humor takes care of itself.

Started by Carol Foley. Last reply by Belle Rose Jul 4, 2013. 14 Replies

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Dead man's Switch

Posted by Philip Jarrett on April 18, 2014 at 11:29pm 0 Comments


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