A place for all things that might be funny to atheists or other non-theists.
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Started by Carol Foley. Last reply by Belle Rose Jul 4, 2013.
Started by Alan C Mar 8, 2013.
Started by Arcus. Last reply by Steve Feb 28, 2013.
One of my Pagan friends shared this one with me which I thought was cute.
Jesus and Moses were fishing in a boat when they begin discussing miracles and decide to have a contest to see who has the more remarkable skills. Moses started out by parting the sea and then stopped and waited for Jesus.
Jesus decided to walk on water and stepped out of the boat only to plunge into the water. Moses pulled him out and saved him from drowning. Jesus seemed confused and told Moses he must just be a bit rusty having not performed this feat for the last few centuries. Again and again he tried but each time Moses had to save him and haul him back into the boat.
Jesus seemed confused and said, "I honestly cannot figure out why this is not working? Can you?" Moses nodded and pointed, "It might have something to do with those two big holes in your feet!"
University of Arizona Chemistry student proves the existence of god!
The Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Response: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave; therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today.Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, ‘It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,’ and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting ‘Oh my God.’
HAHAHAHA I know its early but im just gonna go ahead and nominate Flower for the best comment of the year! thank you
What you just said is one of the most profoundly brilliant things ive ever heard. Every point of your concisely coherent response would be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now smarter for having read it. I award you a million points and may god have mercy on your soul. :)
Amazing irony is the fact that being an Atheist seems to most disturb Christians ( Monotheists ) while Pagans ( Polytheists ) who should have hundreds times more reasons to dislike me, since they have hundreds of Deities in many cases that they worship, really don't care what my belief or disbelief is!
And THAT is kind of funny if you think about it.
I find this so hilarious it belongs here --
U.S. Air Force blocks NYT, Guardian over WikiLeaks
Pentagon officials have instructed employees they "shouldn't access the WikiLeaks site because the information there is still considered classified," said Colonel David Lapan, a Pentagon spokesman.
what makes me laugh is what people say when a "liberal" but still muslim person gets sick! they say it's "god's punishment and wrath"!!
but when a religious person of god gets the same sickness, it becomes "god's test of faith, and god tests the people he loves"
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