A place for all things that might be funny to atheists or other non-theists.
Location: Funnybone Town
Latest Activity: Mar 1, 2016
Started by umar. Last reply by Don Dec 6, 2014.
Started by Alan C. Last reply by Belle Rose Aug 9, 2014.
Started by Carol Foley. Last reply by Andy Hoke Apr 26, 2014.
Palin in younger days. (She appears at about 1:00)
Guess who she thanks?
One of my Pagan friends shared this one with me which I thought was cute.
Jesus and Moses were fishing in a boat when they begin discussing miracles and decide to have a contest to see who has the more remarkable skills. Moses started out by parting the sea and then stopped and waited for Jesus.
Jesus decided to walk on water and stepped out of the boat only to plunge into the water. Moses pulled him out and saved him from drowning. Jesus seemed confused and told Moses he must just be a bit rusty having not performed this feat for the last few centuries. Again and again he tried but each time Moses had to save him and haul him back into the boat.
Jesus seemed confused and said, "I honestly cannot figure out why this is not working? Can you?" Moses nodded and pointed, "It might have something to do with those two big holes in your feet!"
University of Arizona Chemistry student proves the existence of god!
The Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Response: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving, which is unlikely. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave; therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today.Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, ‘It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,’ and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting ‘Oh my God.’
HAHAHAHA I know its early but im just gonna go ahead and nominate Flower for the best comment of the year! thank you
What you just said is one of the most profoundly brilliant things ive ever heard. Every point of your concisely coherent response would be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now smarter for having read it. I award you a million points and may god have mercy on your soul. :)
Welcome toThink Atheist
Get Started Nowor Sign In
Or sign in with:
Started by Arcus. Last reply by Steve Feb 28, 2013.
Started by Mike Lee Dec 31, 2012.
Sunday School March 26th 2017
Sunday School March 19th 2017
Sunday School March 12th 2017
Posted by Brad Snowder on March 25, 2017 at 2:34pm
Posted by Reg The Fronkey Farmer on March 22, 2017 at 4:00pm
© 2017 Created by umar.
Report an Issue |
Terms of Service
Please check your browser settings or contact your system administrator.